Positive
by abbyfillion22
Summary: Kate's pregnant and scared out of her mind. Castle struggles to be supportive but he's secretly just as scared as Kate is.
1. Chapter 1

Castle reached into the bedside table where Kate usually kept protection.

His hand blindly felt around the corners of the drawer as she left a trail of kisses along his neck.

Her heart sank when he came up empty-handed.

He moved to go search her bathroom for extras. There was a certain coldness when his body left hers. The inch of space he created between them made her ache for him.

She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving for even a second when she whispered, "No, it's okay." She latched her long legs around his torso; keeping him in place.

He seemed uncertain. "Are you sure?"

They were too far into foreplay to stop now. To stop now would be like asking someone to stop diving after they had already jumped off the board. She assured him by rolling him over and climbing on top; something he had admitted to enjoying immensely. "Positive."

* * *

Her period was late; that's all she knew.

It could be nothing; it wasn't _that _late. She had never been all that regular anyways.

She had bought a test on her way home today despite her burning desire to remain in a state of denial.

The truth was that she was way late and she had been regular since turning twenty.

She couldn't put it off any longer.

Kate tapped her foot impatiently as she waited the required five minutes for the results. She chewed her thumbnail and stared at the stick on her bathroom sink. It was an evil stick; seeming to mock her and her foolishness as if saying, "I can ruin the rest of your life in five minutes."

She checked her father's watch; ten seconds left until the test would be done.

3,2,1… She held her breath and picked up the stick.

The tiny circular window showed a blue plus sign.

What the hell did that mean? It could stand for anything; First Aid, Christianity, addition… if she turned it on its side, it could be an X! X meant no!

She was trying to make herself feel better but the underlying fact was that she had tested positive. She was pregnant.

She was pregnant with Richard Castle's baby.

She dropped the test like it burned her.

It hit the tile floor with a magnified clatter.

This couldn't be happening; not to her, not now. This would change her whole relationship with Rick. She liked the way it was now: carefree, fun, and passionate.

It worked for both of them and she wasn't ready to complicate it. She was enjoying herself for the first time in her life.

She felt lightheaded and she gripped the edge of the sink for support. The entire room shifted around her and her knees became weak. She gasped for breath.

She turned the cold tap on and splashed freezing cold water in her face. She did this over and over again until her surroundings finally steadied and she could breathe again.

Then the flood of questions came. How could she be pregnant? How was she supposed to act as an incubator for the next nine months? Will Rick be angry or happy?

The scariest question that crossed her mind was: Would he leave her? They had never directly discussed having a baby. Of course, they had both assumed that if they did have kids, they would be married first. What if he didn't want another kid? He had already spent almost nineteen years raising a daughter; he should be done with kids by now.

The most important and immediate question was: How do I tell him?

* * *

There was a knock at her door. It was him.

_You can do this_. _Just tell him._

But she could barely accept it herself; how was he supposed to?

She took a deep breath and plastered on a cheery smile as she let him in. "Hey," she said.

He was wearing his favorite black leather jacket over a blue shirt that made his eyes stand out. His hands were crossed behind him. He seemed taller than usual; towering above her. Maybe it was because she wasn't wearing heels.

He stayed frozen in the doorway; staring at her. "What's wrong?"

_How does he do that?_ He had always had an uncanny ability to read her emotions better than she herself could. "Nothing!" she said a little too quickly. "Why?"

He studied her with his head slightly tilted. His blue eyes seemed to bore into her soul.

She shifted uncomfortably and glanced at the floor.

"I don't know," he muttered, pushing his floppy hair away from his forehead. He had gotten it cut a week ago but it already needed trimming again.

She knew that he knew that she was hiding something.

_Tell him_.

He stepped inside and she had missed her chance.

He pulled a dozen roses out from behind his back.

"Oh, Castle," she said, taking the flowers. "Thank you." She felt terrible for not telling him right then and there but he pulled her into the bedroom before she could say anything else.

They lay side by side tangled in the sheets. Her leg was crossing with his and he lightly stroked her ankle with his toe. It was such a small gesture, but to her, it was more intimate than anything else they did before that.

As he did this, silent tears rolled down her face; catching in her hair.

She didn't know exactly why she was crying. Who was she crying for? Herself? Him? The tiny person that was already growing inside her? The answer was all of the above.

They both turned their heads at the same time to look at each other.

"It's okay," he said comfortingly even though he didn't know what was wrong. It didn't matter to him; whatever it was, he was there for her.

He turned on his side and pulled her into his arms; holding her as she cried.

She had always been a relatively quiet crier, but tonight, she was inconsolable; shaking and sobbing as she watched everything she had planned for their future disappear as fast as it had come.

He kissed the top of her head which was buried in his chest. "It's okay," he repeated. He didn't prod; knowing that she would tell her what was bothering her when she was ready.

He had never seen her so vulnerable and scared before. Even with her bouts of PTSD, she had some control.

Rick felt so helpless watching her break down like this and not being able to do anything about it. He was sad because she was. He knew that this was what love is; when the other person is happy, you're happy. When the other is hurting, you hurt twice as much.

She clung to him like he was her only lifeline. In some ways, he was.

She hadn't cried like this since she was nineteen.

He didn't want to leave her but he didn't know what else to do. He rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom. As he ran cold water over a washcloth, he tried to collect himself. He had to be strong for her.

That's when he noticed the test.

He realized what this was all about when he picked it up and saw the plus sign.

He wrung out the washcloth and carried the test with him back to bed.

She had stopped crying while he was gone and watched him silently as he dabbed her forehead with the cloth. She seemed lost and vacant; like a sleepwalker. Her face was burning and flushed and the cold water felt soothing against her hot skin. Her eyes flickered to the test in his other hand.

"You're pregnant," he stated in monotone.

She closed her eyes and slowly nodded. His reaction would make or break their relationship. Hopefully, he would handle it better than she was.

He brushed the tears from her cheek with the back of his hand and smiled. "Our baby is going to be beautiful."

* * *

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear,_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love._

_ADELE_


	2. Chapter 2

Rick stayed awake long after Kate had fallen asleep. He had done this a lot in the past; just laid in the silence of the night and listened to her steady breathing.

His head was flooded with thoughts and emotions that were unfamiliar to him. They confused and slightly frightened him. And what did he do when he needed to sort his thoughts? He wrote.

He tiptoed from the room to get the spare laptop he kept at her apartment. He always had sudden brilliant bursts of ideas for novels when he was with Kate and it was only practical to keep a laptop there for when he had these bursts.

He brought the computer back to bed with him and propped it open. It wasn't his favorite laptop; it was an old model that was slow and the Q key stuck but it got the job done. The apple glowed white and left a streak of light across his leg.

Opening a brand new Word document was like magic. The blank page was full of possibilities that could blossom into something amazing. He could make anything happen within these spaces.

_Jamison Rook was speechless. What did she mean, she was pregnant? They had only forgotten the condom once!_

_Nikki waited for him to say something._

_Rook tried to speak -to say anything-, but when he opened his mouth, the words wouldn't come. He didn't know what to think; his thoughts were coming too fast for him to comprehend…_

He stopped typing to look at what he had written.

Usually, writing himself as Jamison Rook made everything make sense. But tonight, Jamison was just as confused as he was.

And Nikki Heat… he didn't know what to make of her. One minute, she's the tough bad ass heroine that his readers knew loved and the next… she's breaking into a million pieces; falling down a deep well that only Jamison can help her out of.

His Heat novels were turning into a personal diary and Castle couldn't afford that. Why was it so easy to express himself in a universe so similar to his, but never in his own? Jamison and Nikki had a far easier relationship than he and Kate because he could spend weeks pondering their actions and dialogue before sending them to Black Pawn for editing. But this wasn't one of his books. He had one chance to say the right thing at the right moment. There was no editor to circle his words in red and say, "revise this, it sounds shallow." His editor's name was Conscience and sometimes he thought he forgot to pay him.

He couldn't change the future by going back in a saved document, deleting a paragraph, and rewriting the past. He wished it worked that way but it doesn't.

Castle tried to work through the situation from Jamison's point of view.

Nikki is pregnant. How does that make Jamison feel?

Happy, excited, scared, nervous?

He didn't know. He would work on it.

* * *

Kate woke up to an empty bed. She sat up and felt the indentation where Castle should have been. She began to panic. Had he left while she was sleeping? That didn't seem like something he'd do after last night but you never know with that man.

Her face was still puffy and she had a headache from crying so profusely. She hoped that yesterday was just a bad dream and nothing was wrong. Denial was the only way to keep her from completely losing it.

Castle poked his head inside the room and she sighed with relief to see him. "You're up," he grinned.

"Yeah," she muttered, her voice broke.

He disappeared again and came back carrying a tray with breakfast. He had taken one of the roses from the bouquet he had brought yesterday and put it in a small vase next to the mug of coffee. The tray was laden with eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, fruit, and home fries. Steam wafted off the spread and filled the room with its delicious aroma.

She noticed how high the sun was outside her window and she checked the alarm clock. 10:43! She was late for work!

Castle frowned when she took the coffee and started to get dressed. "You know, you should really start eating breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day."

"I'm fine with just coffee. Since when did you become so concerned about my eating habits?" she asked bitterly. Why hadn't he woken her up sooner?

She selected a blouse randomly from the closet and pulled it over her head.

"Since you're having my baby," he replied more harshly than he intended to.

The words hit her in the gut and she paused in the middle of buttoning her jeans.

Immediately, he wished he could take it back. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just looking out for you. You've only drank coffee for breakfast for as long as I've known you and you need to eat more."

_That's right, _she realized. _I'm eating for two now._

She looked at him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her get dressed, looking like a kicked puppy.

_It's starting; your relationship has changed, _she thought with a sigh.

She walked over to him and sat on his lap. She draped her arms around his broad shoulders and gave him a long, slow kiss. "I love you," she said, resting her forehead against his.

"I love you too," Castle muttered. He reached behind him, took a triangle of butter-covered toast, and held it up to her.

She took a bite and realized how hungry she was.

"I called in sick for you today," he mentioned as they dug into the breakfast.

Her mouth was full of omelet. "Good."

Castle scooped a forkful of potatoes and fed it to her.

Kate did the same with the mixed berries.

They took turns feeding each other bits of food and washed it down with coffee. There was only one mug so they shared it like everything else on the tray.

Castle had purposefully done this to show that they were a team now and they were in this together.

He pushed the last remains of sausage around on the plate with the fork. It made a high screeching sound as it moved against the porcelain.

She put her mug down, anticipating an important conversation coming on. He always stalled before saying something worthwhile.

"I think you should take a leave from your job for a while," he said, distractedly running his finger through the grease.

She swallowed. This wasn't what she had expected him to say. "Why?"

He stopped playing with the food and looked her in the eye. "Because your job is extremely dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt."

Kate ran her tongue over her front teeth.

He detected her hesitancy to respond. "Not right away, of course," he said quickly. "but soon. You get kicked around every day and that can't happen anymore."

"You're right," she admitted, taking a sip of orange juice.

He was surprised that she didn't put up more of a fight. Kate's job was everything to her. He took this as a good sign of things to come in their relationship.

She noticed the laptop lying at the floor next to the bed. "Were you writing last night?" she asked, turning the conversation to him.

He glanced down. "Um, yeah," he muttered. "I couldn't sleep."

Kate nodded and reached for the keyboard. "Can I see?"

He snapped the lid closed. "It's not done yet," he said lamely. He really didn't want her reading about Nikki and Jamison right now. He was still working out the kinks.

"Okay," she accepted, leaning against his pillow. "New Heat novel?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet," he sighed. "It's a work in progress. Nikki's a hard character to figure out."

"I'll bet," she said with a small smile.

Seeing her smile made the weight on his chest disappear momentarily. He grinned as she did and for a second, they were back to their normal selves; carefree on the surface but hiding worries underneath a mask that no one could take off but each other.

"You should see a doctor," Castle suggested.

Kate was grateful for his help because she had no idea what she was doing here and he had already been through Alexis's birth with Meredith. If he could handle a pregnant and hormonal Meredith, she knew that he could handle her.

He continued to tick off things to do on his fingers. "You should get some vitamins and a new pair of sneakers because there's no way you can keep wearing those heels-"

"Challenge accepted," she said with a smirk.

Castle grinned mischievously. "Your boobs are going to be _huge_. It's going to be so great!"

Kate rolled her eyes. He had a knack for ruining romantic moments with a suggestive comment. "For who? You or me?"

"Both."


	3. Chapter 3

They mutually agreed not to tell anyone at work about the pregnancy until it was absolutely necessary. Beckett didn't need Gates to find out and make her take a mandatory leave because it might compromise her ability to get the job done.

The only people that they planned to tell were their immediate family members who consisted of a total of three people; Martha, Alexis, and Jim.

Kate was even more nervous to tell her dad than she was to tell Rick. She had always been close with Jim but in a father-son way (not father-daughter); strained and never talking about their emotions. That would just be weird.

She and Rick scheduled a family dinner that Saturday night to break the news to everyone all at once. Hopefully, Jim and Martha could get along for that short time.

"Hi, Katie," Jim had said when she called him.

"Hi Dad, I have something important to tell you. Can you come over on Saturday for supper?" she asked, nervously twisting a lock of hair around her finger. Castle stood next to her with his ear pressed against the other side of her phone.

Kate heard her father groan. "Oh, no."

"No, no," said Kate hurriedly. "It's good news," she assured him. She glanced at Castle to see his reaction. Was it good news?

Thankfully, he was nodding his head.

Jim thought for a moment. "All right, Katie, I'll see you then. Are you sure everything's all right?"

_No, everything isn't all right, everything is completely _wrong _and I'm way over my head,_ she wanted to say. "Everything's great," she lied.

Castle gave her a supportive thumbs up.

"See you Saturday, love you," she said, hanging up. She exhaled and buried her face in her hands.

Castle came up behind her and massaged her shoulders. "You're so tense," he said, kneading her spine with his knuckles.

"I know," she muttered. "I'm under a lot of stress here if you haven't noticed." She sighed as his lips brushed the back of her neck.

"I get it," he said. He was freaking out just as much as she was but, as usual, they didn't talk about it.

Kate was impressed by how composed he was about this whole thing. If he could keep it together, she should try to too. Then again, he wasn't the one who would be carrying around their child for the next nine months.

He took her hand and dragged her to the couch where he continued to rub her back. There was no usual playful banter that was always ping-ponging between them; only the awkward silence of unsaid concerns.

Eventually, they switched places. She worked her nimble hands around his back and neck, stretching out his stiff muscles and teasing him with a carefully placed touch.

He lounged between her legs, his back resting on her stomach as she released him from his worries. He didn't realize how tense he was until then.

She couldn't help but notice too. He went from sitting stick straight on the couch cushions to nearly falling asleep with his head on her chest. Could he be just as scared as she was?

Castle sighed as Kate rested her chin in his hair. Her hands moved gracefully from his back to his chest, down his stomach, and coming to a stop at the button of his Levis. Her long fingers were having trouble with the fly so he helped her out; taking her hand in his and easing the zipper down.

He shuddered with lust as her fingers brushed against him.

He rolled over onto his stomach so his chin was resting on her toned abs.

She offered a sad smile, knowing that this was how they worked best; no words, just small talk and then somehow they end up in bed (or the couch, kitchen counter, bathtub, etc.) together. They had to change that soon or else they would end up going down a bumpy road that ultimately ends in the dreaded seven letter D word.

_Kate and Rick sitting in a tree,_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G_

_First comes love,_

_Then comes marriage,_

_Then comes a sudden and tragic miscarriage._

_Then comes blame,_

_And then despair;_

_Two hearts broken beyond repair._

_Rick leaves Kate and takes the tree,_

_D-I-V-O-R-C-E_

God, why was she such a downer? Having children was an exciting time! It was what the Bible encouraged so it must be a good thing. Right?

She cringed thinking about being a middle aged mother trying to raise a child while hanging onto threads of a quickly dissolving relationship.

No, she couldn't think like that. She had to stay positive if she was going to get through this with as much dignity as possible.

Meanwhile, Rick was busy thinking happy thoughts that send his heart soaring to Neverland. He saw himself marrying Kate and having two (maybe three?) beautiful children. They would have her hair and his eyes; her nose and his lips; her heart and his mind. He could see them all sitting around a Christmas tree with the fire blazing and Kate nestled in his arms as their kids tear into their presents. Their kids would be smart, funny, creative, stubborn, talented, charming, pretty, intuitive… they would be perfect.

Kate tried to do the same but the future was cloudy and she could only see what was right in front of her at that moment. "I'm scared," she admitted finally.

He frowned. "Me too."


	4. Chapter 4

Beckett had just filed for a leave of absence from the NYPD and she was busy doing paperwork at her desk.

Castle approached with their usual coffee but today, her cup was a kid's size.

"What's this?" Beckett asked when he handed her the tiny styrofoam cup.

"We have to wean you off of caffeine," he explained, "it's really bad for you."

"Castle," she said sternly, "I cannot function without my coffee."

He nudged the cup closer to her. "It's called _sleep, _sweetheart." He used the term of endearment as an insult.

She reluctantly took a sip of it. It was the same latte he always made her but about a quarter of the amount. She finished it in one minute and she was craving more. "It's hard to sleep with your snoring in my ear, _honey_," she said under her breath.

"I don't snore."

"That's what you think."

He grinned at her bitterness. "You drink, what? Four cups of coffee a day?"

She tilted the cup all the way back to get the remains of the liquid at the very bottom. "Three," she corrected him.

"Yeah, that's no good. I'm cutting you off," he took the cup from her and dropped it in the trash can. "Drink this instead," he handed her a bottle. "It's called _water_."

She snatched it from him and took a swig. She hardly ever drank straight-forward water.

"What, no coffee?" said Ryan as he and Esposito approached her desk.

Beckett and Castle glanced nervously at each other. Castle hid behind his grande latte cup.

"Um, I already had mine," she shrugged like it was no big deal.

Everyone knew that no coffee meant that something was up. Ryan was willing to let it go but Esposito was curious. "No you didn't," he said. "You don't have a caffeine buzz."

Castle jumped in to defend. "Maybe I got her decaf."

Esposito scoffed and looked at Ryan. "Please, you've had a tall, low-fat with two pumps of vanilla every day since you came here," he said to Beckett. "The only time Castle didn't bring you coffee was when you were trying to hide that you were sleeping together so what's going on?"

"Nothing," they said in unison.

"Uh-huh," said Esposito. "There's something different about you," he pointed at Beckett.

"I got a haircut," she said.

"No, that's not it," said Esposito, staring at her. He stood up and slowly backed away from her desk. "I'll figure it out. I always do."

Ryan gave them an apologetic smile and hurried after him.

Castle sighed. "That was close."

"Do you think he knows?" asked Beckett, staring worriedly at Esposito.

Esposito wasn't watching where he was going and tripped over the leash of a police dog. He landed flat on his face in the middle of the floor. Ryan laughed.

"Nah," said Castle with a wave of the hand.

She took another gulp of water and rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. She hadn't gotten much rest last night and it had nothing to do with Rick's snoring. She had feigned sleep while Castle tossed and turned next to her. Eventually, he had gotten up to go to his study and write. She could hear the loud tapping of the laptop keys as he worked out the woes of Nikki Heat and Jamison Rook. He came back to bed at about 5:30 and finally was able to get some sleep before they had to get up again.

* * *

Esposito and Ryan went into the break room. CNN was playing on the old TV hanging from the ceiling and was set at a low volume. The hum of the coffee machine drowned out the news anchor's dialogue.

Esposito poured himself a cup of coffee. He drank it black. He shook his head as the caffeine coursed through his system. "What do you think's up with Beckett?"

Ryan shrugged and took the pot from him. He added cream and sugar and stirred it. "It's none of our business. If she wants to tell us, she will."

Esposito tapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, bro. What kind of detective are you? You're not the least bit curious?"

Ryan shook his head. "I have a hunch but I really think we should wait for Beckett to tell us herself."

"What's your hunch?"

Ryan looked around to make sure they were alone then motioned for Esposito to move closer. He put his mouth right next to his ear. "IT'S NONE OF OUR BUSINESS!" he shouted. "I'm not going to go around making false assumptions if we have no idea if it's true or not."

Esposito shook his head in disgust and took his coffee out to the pen.

Beckett and Castle were still at her desk in deep conversation.

Esposito watched as Beckett reached into her drawer and pulled out a small white bottle. She shook out a large pill and popped it in her mouth; chasing it with water.

"What's that?" asked Espo, sneaking up behind them.

Beckett jumped and nearly choked on the pill. "What?!" she coughed.

"What was that?" Esposito repeated even though she had clearly heard him. He reached for the drawer where she had replaced the bottle but she put her hand in front of it.

"Nothing," she insisted, slapping his hand away. "Stay outta my stuff."

Espo cocked his head. "It didn't look like nothing."

Beckett gave him an annoyed look. "Yes, Espo, I got into illegal drugs, okay?" she said sarcastically.

Ryan watched through the window of the break room while his partner and Beckett hashed it out.

"What kinda drugs you on?" Esposito asked, reaching for the handle again.

"Is it a crime to take vitamins?" said Beckett. She looked at Castle for support but he was really focused on his cuticles.

Esposito crossed his arms. "Why are you taking vitamins?"

Beckett opened her mouth to respond but before she could, Ryan came up behind Javi. "Yo, Gates wants to see you downstairs," he said to Espo.

Esposito hesitated but he couldn't ignore Iron Gates. "All right," he sighed. He pointed to her as he walked away. "But we're going to continue this conversation later."

Ryan laid a hand on Espo's shoulder and led him away. "You're welcome," he mouthed to them.

When they were alone again, Castle whispered, "Ryan knows."

She rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Detective Obvious."

* * *

It was her last case and to Kate's disappointment, there was nothing special about it; no gory crime scene, no plot twist, no red herrings, no chases, and no shootings.

Castle could finally breathe a sigh of relief when it was over. It was like God was looking out for Kate and their baby.

"I still don't understand," said Esposito. He and Ryan were propped on the edge of his desk, watching Beckett pack up her things. "Why are you leaving?"

"I'm not _leaving_, I'm taking a _leave,"_ said Beckett as she searched for a piece of bubble wrap to put around her last elephant figurine.

Ryan handed her a sheet of packing paper when she couldn't find any.

Esposito was determined to find out what was up. "But why?"

Beckett gritted her teeth as she placed the smallest elephant in the box next to the extra jacket she kept in her desk. "Because I need a vacation."

He wasn't convinced. "Sure, sure. And you're leaving for how long exactly?"

Beckett slammed her stapler into the box. "Ten months, Esposito," she said. "Ten months." She was tired of his nagging and was ready to go home and take a bubble bath. She used to look forward to wine with her bath but Rick had thrown out all of their alcohol.

"Are you traveling?" asked Ryan who had been too quiet for Espo's liking.

She shrugged. "Maybe I will." The plan was to spend the first four and a half months in the city going between her apartment and the Castle loft.

Beckett was going to be a correspondent of the homicide team while staying at a safe distance from crazy murderers.

She and Rick would move to his house in the Hamptons for the second half of her pregnancy and stay there for an extra month afterwards while they adjusted. The city wasn't an ideal place to keep a sleepy baby what with all the noise.

Kate emptied the last drawer; the one holding the stick and stone man that she and her dad had made the day of her mom's funeral. She tucked it safely in her pocket.

She was relieved that Espo didn't ask about Stick and Stone man.

Castle came to help her carry her things downstairs. "Hey," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. "You ready?"

She checked her desk to make sure she got everything. "Um, yeah." She took one last look at the precinct; her second home.

The guys sensed her sadness so they chose this moment to crack a joke.

"Try not to miss us too much," said Espo, giving her a hug.

Beckett gave Ryan a hug too. "Good luck," he whispered in her ear.

"Thanks," she said back. "Call me when you get a case," she said to him and Esposito.

Castle went to shake their hands but decided to give them a manly hug instead.

"Castle, you're going to see us tomorrow," Ryan reminded him.

Even though Beckett was staying at home, Castle was going to split his time between writing and giving his input at the precinct 75/25 respectively.

Castle squeezed them tightly. "I know. I'm still gonna miss you."

They wrestled out of his grip. "Okay, buddy," said Ryan, patting him on the back.

There was an awkward silence as they all stood there.

Gates poked her head out of her office. "Detective Ryan! Detective Esposito! Get back to work. Castle, go home!"

"I'll miss you too, Captain Gates," Castle called after her.

"Get outta here," said Esposito, pushing them towards the elevator. "You kids have fun."

The next few months were going to be anything but.


	5. Chapter 5

"So are you going to tell me what's been going on with Beckett?" asked Esposito as the elevator doors slid shut.

Ryan rolled his eyes and sat down on Esposito's desk. He fingered the bronze bulldog figure next to his nameplate. "If you haven't figured it out by now, I don't think you ever will."

"What?!" Esposito said impatiently. He slapped Ryan's hand from the bulldog.

"Put it together, detective," said Ryan, immensely enjoying torturing his partner. He marked off the clues on his fingers as he counted them. "She's taking a ten month leave. She's stopped drinking coffee and popping vitamins. She doesn't go out for drinks anymore and when she does, she has water. What does that tell you?"

Esposito thought for a minute.

"Pathetic," Ryan muttered under his breath. "She's pregnant."

"What?! Since when?" Esposito said incredulously. He added up Beckett's recent change of behavior. Ten month leave + no coffee + vitamins – alcohol = pregnant?

"For God's sake, man," said Ryan. "Everyone knows!" He stopped Amanda the ME college intern who was passing by. "Amanda, did you know that Detective Beckett is pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah," said Amanda, snapping her spearmint gum, "doesn't everyone know?"

Esposito looked shocked. He never thought of Beckett as the motherly type. Not that she wouldn't be a good mother, Esposito just always saw her as the bad-ass cop.

"Thanks, Amanda," Ryan dismissed her with a grin.

"Why didn't she just tell us?" Esposito said, upset that she would hold back on such crucial information.

Ryan shrugged. "She probably didn't want Gates to find out. And pregnancies are unpredictable. You don't want to get other people worked up and if something goes wrong, everyone knows. They'd want to be positive that everything was going smoothly."

Esposito tapped the heel of his foot on the floor. "Whose baby is it? Not Castle's!"

"Who else's would it be?!" said Ryan, tapping him on the side of the head.

"And Castle's okay with it?" asked Esposito.

Ryan ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "That's what I can't figure out. I mean, he already has a full grown daughter; I'm not sure he's up to raising another one. He's not exactly all that young anymore if you haven't noticed."

"He seemed fine now that I think about it," said Esposito. "But then again, he never was one to share too much at work when it comes to his feelings."

Ryan nodded. "Him and Beckett both."

* * *

"No, you need to get the ME report," Beckett told the uniform over the phone. "Can't you fax it to me or something?"

Castle looked up from his computer.

She rubbed her forehead as she argued. "Send it home with Castle tomorrow. What do you mean you can't give it to a civilian? He's practically a cop!"

He grinned proudly and she stuck his tongue out at him.

"How do you presume I get it then?" Beckett glanced at the high-tech screen that Castle uses to lay out his stories. She had taken it over as her murder board for the new case.

A woman named Lindsay Harrington had been found stabbed in the neck with a pencil and their prime suspect was her husband, Zachary Harrington.

As Beckett tapped the photo of Lindsay, all of her background information unraveled below it.

She was growing impatient with the uniform. "Have Dr. Parish email it to me, I'm sure she won't have a problem with that."

The uniform began to protest but Beckett hung up before he could.

Castle went back to typing.

"This isn't working," said Beckett as she set the landline back in its cradle.

"You'll get the hang of it," he muttered distractedly as he deleted a paragraph. He saved the chapter he was working on and shut the lid of the laptop. "What do we know so far?"

The murder board had gone untouched for too long and it had grown dim. Beckett tapped it and the screen lit up again. "Not much," said Beckett. "I'd need to get the ME report first."

Castle stopped and stared at the bookshelf behind Beckett. "It's late, you should get to bed."

She sighed. He obviously didn't get the double meaning behind their conversation. "You're not going to join me?" she said, standing on tiptoe and brushing her lips against his earlobe. Sex would make everything right again.

He turned away from her. "Um, not tonight." He pushed her away slightly.

Kate saw him in a new light. Since when did he turn her down?

He noticed her hurt expression. "I mean, I would love to but I really need to get this chapter to Gina." He gestured to the closed laptop.

She crossed her arms. "Sure." He already seemed so closed off to her and she was only pushing him further down by letting him get away with it. He still seemed thrilled about the baby but was cold towards her.

He kissed her. "I'll be in later. I love you."

_Do you? _She thought as she walked slowly into his bedroom. She felt like an unwelcome visitor there without him.

She changed into shorts and a T-shirt and climbed awkwardly into bed. The covers held no warmth and she missed the secure feel of his arms around her.

She lay on her side and stared out the window for what felt like forever.

When she heard the door squeak and he tiptoed into the room three hours later, she pretended to be asleep.

She heard him stop at the foot of the bed. He knew he was watching her; not in a creepy way, but in an observing way.

He could tell a lot about Kate's mood by how she slept based on her body language. She always laid on her back when she was relaxed and content. The only time she ever was on her side was when they were spooning.

He sighed and laid down without taking his day clothes off.

She expected him to cuddle up right next to her and hold her until he fell asleep. Instead, he kept his distance. When she raised her head and looked over, he was on his side; his back to her. The space between their bodies felt infinite.

She didn't know why, but this small detail filled her with sadness. He used to never let her sleep alone and now here they were; on opposite sides of the bed with their backs turned to each other. They stayed that way for a long time; listening to each other's breathing.

* * *

When Kate finally heard his low snore, she crept out of the room and into his office.

Before entering, she stopped and studied the staircase mural behind the desk. It was such a simple photograph yet it caught your attention every time you were in there. You could spend hours trailing the path of the stairs and contemplating the meaning. Your gaze always started at the top level of the stairs and worked their way down, moving further into the depth of field until they faded to a blur. You still continued along the stairs even though it became unclear because for some reason, you had to reach the bottom.

The laptop was still open when she sat down at his desk. She swiped her fingers across the mouse and the screen lit up. The chapter Rick was working on was still on the screen. She felt like she was breaking into the private subconscious mind of Castle when she began reading.

_When Nikki told him the big news, Jamison wanted to turn tail and run in the opposite direction. He wasn't ready for a baby and having one just meant more troubles in their already complicated relationship. _

_A baby meant a wedding down the line. He knew from many of his –now single- friends that marriage because of a pregnancy never ended well. Eventually, they would fall out of love._

_He knew that he loved Nikki more than anything else in the entire world. He just wasn't mature enough to bring another person into his life; one that would be completely dependent on him and would count on him to be there. He was so scared for this little person that would soon be his son or daughter. What if he wasn't a good father and he wound up disappointing himself, Nikki, and their baby?_

_He had always kept one foot out of the door and a baby on the way meant choosing; all in or all out._

_He didn't want to leave, but he didn't know what else to do when he packed a bag that night. _Coward,_ Jamison called himself as he wrote a note and left it on Nikki's pillow as she slept. _At least have the decency to tell her to her face.

_He took one last look at her before sneaking out of the apartment and taking a cab out of the city._

"Kate."

She hadn't noticed that she was crying until that moment.

Castle stood in the doorway, his clothes rumpled and hair disheveled. "Kate," he repeated.

She looked up from the screen and stared at him. "You want to leave?"

He inched closer to her.

"No!" she yelled, holding up her hand.

He stopped in his tracks.

"Tell me," she said firmly. "Tell me right now, I need to know, Rick. Do you want to leave?" She wasn't angry at him; she just had to know the truth. She couldn't live this lie any longer or it would destroy her.

He made sure that he was staring directly into her eyes when he said, "I'm not going to lie to you. I've thought about it."

Her face fell and she felt like she was going to pass out or vomit or both. "Then go," she whispered. Her tears ran down her cheeks and landed on the desktop.

He took another step towards her so the only thing separating them was the desk. He pushed the lid of the computer closed and they were left in darkness. The only light was the full moon outside the window. "I can't-"

"No one's stopping you."

"I can't because I love you too much. I care about you and our baby way too much to even be apart from you for even a second."

"Then why did you write-"

"Because I'm scared, Kate. I'm scared that I won't be a good dad. I'm scared that it will destroy us and we'll lose sight of what's important. I was scared that _this _would happen." He pointed to them both. "I was scared that we would fall out of love. Writing is how I deal with it, you know that."

She shook her head. "We can't keep doing this, Rick. We can't not talk about things and then have everything explode at once. You let me believe that you didn't love me anymore."

"Never think that, Kate," he said sternly, moving around the desk. He put his hands on both arms of the chair and spun her to face him. "Think anything else but know that I will love you no matter what. I'll love you until the day I die and long after that." He brushed a tear from her eye.

She sniffed and glanced at the laptop behind Rick. "Does Jamison still love Nikki?"

He gave a small laugh. "Of course. Jamison will love Nikki until the day he dies and long after that. He's just acting like a jackass right now."

She chewed her lip. "So what's going to happen with them?"

"I don't know yet but I do know that it's going to work itself out," he said.

"Why don't you think you'll be a good dad?" she asked, genuinely interested. "Alexis turned out well."

"Yeah, but that's Alexis. You could drop her off in the middle of the desert and she would have been fine. It's going to be different this time around."

She tilted her head. "Yeah, it will be. Because you'll have another person there with you every step of the way. You shouldn't be worried."

Castle swiveled her from left to right in the chair.

"And don't forget I'm doing this for the first time," she reminded him.

"Let's make a deal," said Castle, pushing her hair away from her face. "No more secrets. We tell each other everything."

She gave him a grateful kiss. "Deal."


	6. Chapter 6

Part 2

"Hey, bro, how's Beckett holding up?" asked Esposito as Castle sat down with his coffee.

Castle looked at Ryan.

Ryan shrugged. "He figured it out all by himself."

"Doubtful," said Castle. He sighed. "Well, she's bored out of her mind and suffering from caffeine withdrawal so…"

"Life at home is a blast?" Ryan offered.

Castle chugged his coffee and said nothing. He was exhausted from staying up so late with Kate.

Esposito and Ryan glanced at each other. "So," said Esposito nonchalantly. "Have you decided on a godfather yet?"

Castle swallowed and tossed the cup across the room to the trashcan. It banked off of the wall and fell to the left of the basket. He swore under his breath as he got up and placed the cup in the trash.

"Have you?" asked Ryan eagerly when he returned.

Castle rubbed his eyes. "We haven't discussed it," he muttered. He and Kate had stayed up until the early morning talking about _everything_ they had been holding back on before. The only thing they _hadn't _talked about was the baby's godparents.

"It's going to be me, right?" asked Esposito.

Ryan shoved him to the side. "No way, Castle. I'm the family man; you wouldn't really trust Mr. Single here to raise your daughter if you died?"

Esposito glowered at him. "That's cold, man."

"Don't you two have work to do?" asked Castle, yawning.

"Nope."

"Nope."

He sighed. "Fine. When Beckett and I die, one of you gets my kid, the other gets the Ferrari, okay?" He turned to Ryan. "So which one do you want?"

"The kid," said Ryan immediately.

"The car," said Esposito.

"Guys," Castle said, "I was kidding. We're not choosing a godfather; we haven't even told our families yet."

"When are you going to?" asked Ryan. He crumpled up the paper from the croissant he was eating and threw it into the trash. It made a satisfying crinkle as it met the bottom of the can.

"This Saturday," said Castle. "Her dad's coming for dinner."

Esposito smirked. "That should be fun."

"Yeah, no man's ever good enough for your daughter." Ryan balled up another piece of paper and tossed it across the room, landing in the trash basket, nothing but net.

"Showoff," Castle muttered. "Jim seems to like me well enough."

"That's what you think," said Ryan, sinking another paper ball. "Just wait until he hears that you got his daughter pregnant. We're going to get a call from your loft to collect a body."

Castle took a paper ball from Ryan as he was about to throw it. "Trust me, if Jim Beckett ever decided to kill me, you'd never find the body." He tossed the ball.

At that same moment, Gates walked through the door and was in the chest by the projectile. The paper bounced off of her and landed at her feet.

Ryan and Esposito scrambled to their feet and tried to act busy.

"Mr. Castle, why are you still here?" Gates asked bitterly as she approached him.

Castle had his feet up on Beckett's empty desk and Gates pushed him off.

"Because I'm a vital part of this team," Castle responded with a grin.

"Per se," Esposito coughed.

Castle and Gates looked at him and he went back to pretending to do paperwork.

Gates crossed her arms. "Since Detective Beckett has taken a leave, I have brought in a temporary replacement and I expect that you'll treat her with respect." She gave Esposito a pointed stare.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Her?"

"Detectives and Mr. Castle, this is Detective Camille White from the 11th precinct," said Gates, holding her arm out towards the door.

"Beckett's not going to like this," Castle muttered.

Camille was a different kind of pretty than Kate. She had light blonde hair and brown eyes that were hidden behind large-framed Ray-Ban RXs. Her features were soft and she had a birthmark the shape of a bean above her lip. She wore sensible flat shoes with black leggings and an army green bomber jacket over a plain white shirt.

Esposito straightened up. "Hi, Detective White, I'm Javier Esposito." They shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Detective," said White. She shifted and as she did, the light reflected flecks of gold in her eyes.

Esposito was transfixed, practically drooling over the newbie.

"Respect, Detective Esposito," Gates reminded him.

Ryan ran his hand through his gelled hair before shaking White's hand. "Hi," he said nervously. He tried to keep his eyes off of her as he thought of his beautiful wife. He scuffed the floor with the toe of his shoe.

White tried to wipe the gel residue left on her hand on the back of her jacket without the others noticing.

Castle stuck out his hand. "Rick Castle," he smiled.

Camille smiled, flashing a set of straight white teeth. "I know who you are."

Castle noticed that he was staring too long and he turned his attention elsewhere.

Gates rolled her eyes at the men's weakness and stalked back into her office.

"Excuse me," said Camille to Castle who was blocking her new desk.

"Sorry," said Castle, moving out of her way.

White sat down and shook her hair out of her face. "Do we have a case?" she asked Esposito.

Esposito was still entranced.

Ryan tapped him on the shoulder.

"No, it's been relatively quiet recently," said Esposito. The sides of his upper lip curled as he smiled; his special grin that he reserved for attractive women.

Camille tapped on the computer keyboard to wake it up.

"So you're from the 11th?" Esposito said, making conversation.

"Yes," White replied.

"Why were you moved here?" asked Castle.

Camille stared at the desktop. "I wanted a top position and one opened up here."

"You like being on top?" asked Esposito, honestly not trying for an innuendo.

Camille ignored the comment.

Castle's phone rang. It was Beckett. "Hi," he answered.

"Hey," she said. "Are there any cases? I'm going crazy here."

Castle glanced at White. "No, I'll make sure to call you when we do though."

Camille laughed at something Ryan said.

"Who's that?" asked Beckett.

"The new detective," Castle muttered, turning away from the others. "Camille White."

Beckett was slightly offended by this news. "Gates replaced me already?"

He hesitated. "Well, not _replaced._ She's just temporary."

"Hmm."

"She's not you though," Castle said quickly, "no one can replace you."

"Whatever you say," she said, not threatened at all by Camille. "I'm going out today; do you want me to get you anything?"

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"The doctor."

"The lady doctor?" he said excitedly. It took one syllable too may for his liking to say "OB/GYN". "I want to go, I've never been there."

"I would hope not," she laughed. "And you can't, I'm leaving soon."

"I'll be home; don't leave without me," he said.

She started to argue but he hung up before she could.

"What's up, bro?" asked Esposito as Castle put his coat on.

"I'm going to the lady doctor, I'll be back later!" Castle shouted as he ran out of the precinct.

Camille stared curiously after him. "What-?"

"Don't ask," Ryan and Esposito said in unison.

* * *

The lady doctor's office was weird. 'Weird' was the best word Castle could use to describe it; weird and awkward. Yes, awkward was an appropriate adjective.

The waiting room was full of pregnant women and their uncomfortable looking husbands/boyfriends/wives.

The only one more uncomfortable than Castle was Kate. She sat stick straight on the bench, making sure there was always an inch between him and her. "Are you sure you don't want to wait out here, Castle?" she whispered. The room was almost completely silent and everyone avoided looking at each other. Her whisper made people flinch.

He looked at the poor guy next to him trying to occupy himself by checking his text messages every three seconds. "I'm coming in with you. Remember, we're in this together?" he said in his normal volume. The truth was that he didn't want to be left alone in this purgatory.

"Katherine Beckett," a nurse with a clipboard called.

Kate bit her lip as she and Rick were shown to a small room filled with huge machines. The walls were lined with graphic anatomic pictures of fetuses and other lovely things. He had no clue what half of the pictures were of.

Castle took the empty chair next to the door. He noted the chair's strategic placement in case the occupant had to bolt from the room.

He was too aware of himself as he sat down with his legs spread and his hands on his knees. It seemed like a weird position so he tried crossing his legs and arms. That didn't feel right either so he tried slouching but then he didn't know how to hold his arms. He wound up standing with his hands in his pockets.

Kate tried to look anywhere but at Rick. This had to be the most-for lack of a better word- awkward experience they had ever been in.

Castle coughed just to break the silence.

Kate sniffed and wiped her nose.

Castle checked his phone.

Kate drummed her fingers against the table.

Castle pushed back his cuticles.

Kate cleared her throat.

"Soooo," said Castle.

"Yup," said Kate.

Finally, the nurse came in and asked Kate to undress.

"Ooh," said Castle, "This is getting good."

The appointment ensued and all in all, the conversation on the drive home went like this.

"Let's not do that again," Castle said, staring straight ahead at the road.

Kate nodded and gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. "Agreed."

Castle loped into the precinct like a soldier after a hard battle.

* * *

"Hey, buddy," grinned Ryan. "How was the lady doctor?"

"Never again," Castle muttered as he sat down in his usual chair before realizing that it wasn't Beckett's desk he was sitting next to.

Camille peered at him.

Castle scooted his chair backwards so he was next to Esposito.

Camille pushed her glasses up her nose. "We have a case."

The guys gathered their things.

Camille pressed her hand against Castle's chest. "Were do you think you're going?"

Castle looked past her at Ryan and Esposito. They shrugged. "To the… crime scene?"

Camille wrapped a white Hermes scarf around her neck. "No way."

"I'm your partner though!" said Castle.

"Wrong," said Camille. "You were Detective Beckett's partner."

"And now I'm yours," Castle said, following her to the elevator like an excited puppy dog.

"No," she insisted, pushing him back out of the elevator. The doors closed and he was left alone.

Being Castle, he didn't take no as an answer. He sprinted down the stairs and waited for them outside. "Hey there," said Castle, leaning up against Camille's white BMW.

She groaned.

"Just let him come," said Esposito. "He ain't hurting anyone."

"No, but I might," she muttered. "Get in the car."

"Yes!" said Castle, climbing in the passenger side.

"Hurry up," Camille snapped as she slid behind the wheel.

Castle reached over her as she pulled the cruiser out of the parking lot with Ryan and Esposito at her bumper. "Seat belt," he reminded her. "It's the law."

She rolled her eyes as he clicked the belt into place.

"You know, you remind me of Beckett when I started working with her," Castle mused.

"Did she find you as annoying as I do?" she snapped, weaving in and out of rush hour.

"She sure did," he said cheerily. "But don't worry; I'm not going to hit on you."

"Shame," Camille said under her breath. "You're kind of cute in an old man kind of way."

He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or insulted. "Thank you," he said with a smile. He liked Camille but would never try to date her even if he wasn't with Beckett. She was way too serious for his taste. "That reminds me, I have to call her." He pulled out his phone.

"Are you two married?" Camille asked as they parked behind an ambulance at the crime scene.

"Ah, no," Castle responded.

"But she's having your baby."

Castle gave her a questioning look.

"Detective Esposito mentioned it," she explained.

"Oh. Well yes, she is. I'm excited," Castle said plainly.

"You don't sound like it."

"No, no, I'm excited, I really am," Castle half assured her and half assured himself. "It's going to be great." He didn't know why he was telling all of this to Detective White. Something about her made you feel comfortable enough to talk. Maybe it was her nerdy glasses.

Camille nodded and climbed out of the car. "Well congratulations then. I never thought that office romances ever had a happily ever after."

"We like to go against the stereotype," said Castle. They ducked under the police tape.

Dr. Lanie Parish was kneeling next to the body of a teenage boy, a yellow number two Ticonderoga sticking out of his eye.

"What is with all the death by pencils?!" asked Castle, turning his head to get a better look. "This is the second one this week."

"He didn't die from that stab, he died from this one," said Lanie, pulling his school blazer and revealing a second pencil going through his nipple.

Castle and White cringed.

Castle took a SnapChat and sent it to Beckett. "And you thought your appointment was painful," he wrote under the photo.

Ryan and Esposito came moments behind them.

"Ouch," said Ryan. He subconsciously rubbed his chest.

Lanie stood up and straightened her jacket. "Hi, I'm Dr. Lanie Parish," she said to Camille, shaking her hand.

"Camille White."

Castle and Ryan looked at Lanie who was looking at Esposito who was ogling Camille.

Lanie cleared her throat loudly.

Esposito jumped.

Lanie continued with her examination. "Benjamin Anderson, age sixteen. He went to Manhattan Prep." She handed Camille Ben's student ID card.

"What was he doing out here?" asked Camille. "Manhattan Prep is on the other side of town and it's a school day."

"He was on work release," Lanie said, pointing to the employee card clipped to Ben's belt. "He was a bus boy at Luigi's Pizzeria."

"Any prints on the pencils?" asked Castle.

"Not that I can see," said Lanie.

Camille knelt next to the body and fingered the pencils. "This was premeditated."

Castle crouched beside her. "How do you know?"

"No one carries pencils around with them unless they planned to use them to stab someone," said Camille.

"Or it was a student who followed him from the school and he or she still had their school things on them," Castle suggested.

Castle's phone vibrated.

**Kate Beckett:** It was premed.

Camille read the text over his shoulder and smirked. "Your girlfriend agrees."


	7. Chapter 7

"So you're not jealous at all?" Castle asked as he set the table.

While Kate was in the shower, Castle had transformed the kitchen. The table was covered in a white cloth and small white and red candles were scattered around the loft; illuminating it in a warm flickering glow. The table was set for two with the finest china and silver that Castle owned and a bottle of SmartWater in the place of wine. The boxes of Chinese takeout sat on top of the plates with their chopsticks poking through the cardboard.

He figured that Kate would need a little cheering up after hearing that she had been replaced.

"No," Kate said, coming out of the bedroom for a second time, having changed into a black dress after seeing the fancy dinner arrangement. "Why would I be?"

He shrugged and lit the candelabra in the center of the table. "I mean, she took your job and she's hitting on me…" He looked for her reaction and was disappointed when there wasn't one.

"So now she's hitting on you?" she said nonchalantly as she tied her hair back. She honestly wouldn't care if White actually was hitting on him, she was used to women flirting with her boyfriend; him being a famous writer and having ruggedly handsome looks.

He clicked the lighter off and tossed it in a drawer. "Well, her exact words were, "You're cute in an old man sort of way"." He paused and watched her finger the pool of wax collecting around the tin rim of one of the candles. "Do you think I'm old?"

Kate smirked. "Castle, you have a nineteen year old daughter and two ex wives. I wouldn't say you're _old _but you've definitely lived a full life for your age."

He scoffed. "Hmm, that makes me feel so much better."

She put her arms around his waist and played with his belt.

"At least I have a hot young girlfriend to keep me on my toes," he said, pushing a stray hair away from her neck.

She stood on her toes and leaned into him, pressing her lips against his. "Some things only get better with age."

He pulled away a fraction of an inch so his mouth was hovering above hers. "The, uh, the food is, um, getting… cold?"

She pulled at his collar. "You know the doctor said that it was still safe to have sex." It was either hormones or being away from him all day, but all she wanted to do from the moment Castle came home was tear his clothes off and have her way with him.

"Thank God," he muttered, grabbing her by the small of her back and pulling her closer. Her shampoo smelled like cherries. He knew from many shared showers that she faithfully used Cherry Suave Professionals since she was twenty one. The scent of the fruit always made him hunger for her.

Kate flicked her tongue inside his mouth and he tasted her vanilla lip balm as he bit her lower lip.

When he really started getting into it, she suddenly shoved him away.

They just stood there for a moment, clothing awry. He had pulled her hair out of its bun and it was now hanging in front of her face. She covered her mouth, ran to the sink and began vomiting.

Castle breathed into his hand and smelled it. "My breath must be awful."

She gagged. "Sorry," she muttered with her head in the basin.

"Don't be," he said, rubbing her back comfortingly. He held her hair back for her as she wretched up her lunch.

She rinsed her mouth out with the faucet and straightened up. "Well that was romantic."

Castle poured her a glass of seltzer. "It's just a side effect. It'll get worse."

She grinned sarcastically. "That makes me feel so much better."

He tapped his foot as she sipped. "Do you still want to have sex?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, but we're not going to."

He wrinkled his brow. "Why?"

Kate wiped her tongue with the palm of her hand and washed it. "You still want me after this?"

He smiled. "Always."

* * *

"By the way," said Kate as they laid in bed. "I'm coming back to the precinct."

Castle tried to protest but he was still out of breath.

She rolled over so her chin was resting on his chest. "I'll take desk duty but I can't stay home for nine months. I'll go insane, Castle."

He held his side. "But-" he gasped.

"I can do interrogations and paperwork. I'll be out of harm's way, I promise," she insisted.

He knew that even if he said no, she would do what she wanted. There was no tying down Kate Beckett.

She stroked his bicep with her pinkie, raising gooseflesh even though he was sweating. "I'm sure that Gates will be fine with me coming back."

He finally lowered his heart rate to a reasonable beat. "What about White?"

"I think our team can handle two women, don't you?" she said as she traced her finger along his jawline.

"Honestly? No, I don't. You haven't met Camille-"

"Camille?"

"It will be an all out competition for alpha dog."

"Since when do you call Detective White 'Camille'?" she asked, raising her chin off of him so they were at eye level.

He sighed, hating that they were talking about work in bed. It took the sexiness level from 10 to 1 in less than three seconds. It would be 0 on the sexiness scale but it could never be 0 when Kate was naked and sweaty.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Kate," he resigned.

She smiled and kissed him. "I'm glad you said yes because Gates already accepted me back."

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Castle whispered as they stepped off the elevator at the 12th.

Beckett eyed the latte he was sipping. "Positive." She was tired and had a major craving for anything caffeine. She stopped him. "You know how we agreed to talk about everything?"

He took another drink. "Yeah."

"Can you please stop drinking coffee in front of me?" she pleaded.

He stepped backwards and raised the cup to his lips. "Now I'm drinking coffee behind you," he said teasingly.

She glared at him and he dropped the cup into the trash.

"Thank you," she said.

"Always."

Camille was hard at work at her desk, typing up a report. Esposito was trying to distract her; sitting on the edge of the desk and leaning on the monitor.

Esposito stood when he saw them coming. "Beckett, what are you doing back here?"

"I got bored," she replied, turning to Camille. "Hi, I'm Kate Beckett."

They shook hands. "I know who you are," Camille said coldly.

Beckett gave her a kind smile.

Ryan covered the mouth of the phone. "Beckett!" he yelled from his desk. "Your desk's over there!" He pointed to an empty one on the very opposite end of the room.

She sighed, missing her old desk that was right behind Esposito's and within a chair slide away from Ryan.

Beckett caught Camille smirking as she made her way towards her new desk.

Castle picked up his chair and carried it over to Beckett's side.

Camille stopped him. "Um, what are you doing?"

"Going to sit with Beckett?" he said.

She crossed her arms. "I thought we were partners, Rick."

_Rick?_ "Um…" he looked over at Beckett who was slicing her hand across her throat.

Camille batted her long black eyelashes.

"Um…" he said, confused. He shook himself. "No, I'm Detective Beckett's partner."

Score: Beckett-1 Camille-0

He set the chair down next to Beckett's desk. She was grinning.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, going back to setting up her computer. "Everything's great."

Ryan peered over the row of computers separating the team. "Did you see the crime scene?" he practically had to shout from the distance.

"Yeah," Beckett shouted back. "A pencil in the neck and heart?"

They heard the sharp clacking of heels as Camille and Esposito passed them on the way to the elevator. "We're going to pick up Ben's girlfriend. She wasn't in school the day of his death," said Esposito.

Camille dropped a huge stack of files on Beckett's desk. "For you," she said with a menacing grin. "Welcome back."

Score: Beckett-1 Camille-1

"Thank you!" Beckett said cheerfully, taking the first file and getting started.

Camille rolled her eyes. "Let's go, Rick."

Beckett's jaw dropped. Was she really going to take Castle along on a pickup? Didn't he say last night that he annoyed her?

She hid her astonishment as Castle scrambled after her.

Score: Beckett-1 Camille-2

* * *

"How long have you and Beckett been together?" asked Camille as she drove to the girlfriend's house.

"We've been together for six years. We've been _together _together for two," he said.

"She seems sweet," she said.

Castle looked at her, trying to decide if she was being sarcastic. If she was, she didn't show it. "Thanks?"

"How's she handling the pregnancy?"

He stared at his hands. "Not well at first, but she's gotten used to the idea."

"Et toi?"

"What?"

"And you? How are you taking it?"

Castle cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm thrilled. But, as you said, I'm an old man and I'm having another kid."

Camille glanced at him. "How old is Beckett?"

"35."

Camille nodded. "So she's the perfect age to start having kids. You don't want another?"

"I don't know what I want. I mean, I wouldn't have _planned _to have one right now. I think I'd feel differently if we had planned it. But now that it's happening, I'm happy, I really am."

"Are you?" she said softly.

He paused. "Yes. Yes I am." He didn't know who he was trying to convince; her or himself. Was he happy about it or was he just trying to be supportive? Why did he just tell all of that to Camille anyways? He hadn't even said that to Kate, he shouldn't go around telling strangers.

"You know, when people have to keep telling others how happy they are, they're really not," said Camille.

He gave her a hard stare. "I am, okay?"

She didn't pursue the topic any further.

"How old are you, exactly?" asked Castle.

"26."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked out of pure curiosity.

"No."

"A pretty girl like you doesn't have a boyfriend?" Something must be wrong with you, he thought.

"I don't want one right now. I'm focused on my career," she said as she turned down an alley and parked.

"You sound like Beckett," he noted.

She got out and popped the trunk. "Female cops have one thing in common." She checked her piece and tossed him his vest.

"What's that?" he asked as he put on his WRITER vest.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "We don't let men get in the way of what we want."


	8. Chapter 8

Castle decided to call nice Camille from the car rides Car Camille and mean Camille everywhere else Cold Camille.

Right now, she was Cold Camille. "What the hell is that?" she asked about his vest.

"Oh, do you like it?" he struck a pose. "It's custom made."

"Is it actually bulletproof?" she poked the navy blue fabric.

He looked down at it. "I don't know I've never been shot."

Cold Camille pointed her gun at him. "Want to test it?"

Before he could come up with a snarky comeback, Esposito and Ryan joined them.

"Are you boys ready?" asked Cold Camille. She liked calling them 'boys' even though she was half their age. It gave her the upper hand.

Esposito puffed his chest out and flexed. "I'm always ready."

The others rolled their eyes.

Cold Camille lead them inside. They gathered around the door of apartment A7, belonging to the girlfriend, Madison Moore and her family. Madison was of age so they had normal rights to arrest her since she had failed to show up when the PD had summoned her.

Cold Camille pounded on the door. "NYPD, we have a warrant!"

Ryan busted the door down and they filed in.

"Clear," Ryan said, glancing around the room. It was a plain looking apartment with cream colored furniture and outdated electronics. The large box TV was still on and a tube of Pringles lay open on the couch.

"Someone's been here recently," said Camille.

"Clear," Esposito called from the kitchen.

Castle checked the closets and moved into the bedrooms. The first one looked unlived in; the bed was made and the drawers were empty.

The next room was definitely a girl's. Posters of Maroon 5 and Josh Hutcherson were plastered on the walls with magic tape and the stack of DVDs on the far shelf held an impressive collection of chick flicks.

Camille was poking around under the bed while Castle pulled open the bureau.

He screamed as a girl leaped out and tackled him.

"Hey!" Cold Camille yelled, training her gun towards the nose.

The girl had the element of surprise on her side and she managed to straddle him in a matter of seconds. She scratched at his face with long nails and screamed bloody murder. Her hair was a rat's nest and she smelled like she hadn't showered in days.

Castle threw his hands up to protect his face. "Get her off! Get her off!"

Camille, Ryan, and Esposito were surrounding them; their guns pointed.

"Don't move!" Cold Camille commanded.

Esposito grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the floor.

Castle gasped for air and felt his face. His skin was sliced in several places and a small droplet of blood oozed out of the cuts.

Cold Camille forced the girl onto her stomach and slapped cuffs on her.

Castle stood and brushed himself off.

Ryan and Esposito were holding in laughs.

He wiped his bleeding lip with the back of his hand. "Let's not tell Beckett about this."

* * *

Cold Camille and Esposito lead the girl into the interrogation room.

"Oh my God," said Beckett, examining his wounds. "What were you doing? Fighting cats?"

Ryan sat down at his desk. "See that little girl?"

Beckett looked over. "Yeah."

"That's Madison Moore, the vic's girlfriend. She kicked Castle's ass," said Ryan with a snicker.

Castle groaned. "Gee, thanks, pal."

Beckett looked at Madison. She was about five foot two and couldn't weigh more than 110 lbs. She didn't feel like making Castle feel any worse about it than he already did so she helped him clean up.

He flinched when the alcohol touched his open cuts. "Ouch, apples!"

She held him still and kept dabbing. "Hold still you baby."

Camille came around the corner and waited for Beckett to finish before speaking. "I hear you're good with interrogations."

"She's the best," said Castle as he pressed his fingers to his forehead and caused it to start bleeding again.

"Do you want to sit in with me or not?" Cold Camille asked impatiently.

"I dunno," said Beckett, smoothing out her shirt as she stood. "The question is do _you _want me to sit in?"

Cold Camille crossed her arms. "It's what you're being paid for so I suppose you should." She actually did want Beckett there to get some pointers from the veteran.

"Fine," Beckett sighed. "Stop touching your face, Castle."

Castle sat on his hands to keep from fidgeting.

Camille and Beckett left for the interrogation.

"Bro," said Esposito. "We've gotta watch this! It's going to be like watching starving lions fight over a grape."

Castle got to his feet. "I'm in." He turned to Ryan. "What about you?"

Ryan shuffled his papers. "Nah. I've seen enough bloodshed today."

"Your loss," Esposito shrugged.

Beckett took a moment before the interrogation to watch Madison Moore through the glass. She liked doing this because she could get a better feel for what her suspect was like when they didn't think she was watching. Sure, it was creepy but it was also effective.

Madison was leaning against the back of her chair, braiding a small strand of hair absentmindedly. She was pale and skinny and her clothes were filthy. Why the handsome Benjamin Anderson would date an eighteen year old savage like her was lost to Beckett. Then again, why would the famous Rick Castle want to date plain old Kate Beckett? Love works in mysterious ways.

"What are you doing?" asked Camille, interrupting her thoughts.

Beckett shook her head. "Just watching."

"Why?"

"Because people act like themselves when no one's looking," Beckett explained to the young detective.

"Smart," said Camille.

Beckett looked at her. She couldn't figure her out; one minute Camille is a scheming conniving bitch and the next she's sweet girl who just wants to fit in. Sometimes it's hard to tell which she is.

Castle and Esposito sauntered up to them and took their places behind the glass.

"We have an audience," Beckett muttered.

Camille glanced at the two men who were waiting anxiously for the action to begin. "What's the deal with Esposito?"

"What do you mean?" asked Beckett.

"Is he single or gay? I can't tell if he's just being friendly or if he's genuinely interested," said Camille.

"Um, no," Beckett lied on Lanie's behalf. "He's seeing someone." She kicked herself for lying and knew that Esposito would kill her if he found out she ruined his chances with Camille. Even though he and Lanie weren't actually dating, she had to look out for her friend.

"You have a lot of attractive cops here," Camille said, "You should see the dogs at my precinct."

Beckett was liking her less and less by the minute. "I try not to get involved with my colleagues."

Camille scoffed. "I can see how that works."

She was right, of course, but Beckett would never give the newbie the satisfaction. She stormed into the interrogation room, feeling sorry for the girl she was about to face because she was in such a pissy mood. She didn't hold the door for Camille and as it swung shut, it hit her in the side.

Score: Beckett-2 Camille-2

"What's this about?" asked Madison, letting go of the piece of hair she was braiding. "I've been waiting forever."

"You've been waiting for ten minutes, Miss Moore," said Camille, taking the seat across from the girl.

That left Beckett to take the chair at the side of the table.

"Look, I only ditched school twice, okay?" Madison said.

Camille folded her hands on the table. "You weren't in school yesterday?"

Madison rolled her eyes. "No. So what?"

Camille glanced at Beckett before proceeding. "What were you doing?"

Madison swallowed. "Job hunting."

"Madison, where are your parents?" Beckett asked.

This seemed to be a touchy subject. Madison's cocky and hostile demeanor dropped quickly.

Beckett repeated the question, more loudly this time.

"They're gone," Madison muttered.

"Where?" asked Camille.

Madison stared at her lap. "I don't know. They just picked up and left last week."

"They left you in the apartment by yourself?" Beckett asked. She could never have lived alone in the city at 18; she would have been terrified.

"I'm of age, I can live on my own," Madison said sourly.

"We noticed that your water was shut off," said Camille. "How are you paying bills?"

Madison didn't answer right away.

"Was someone giving you money?" asked Beckett.

Camille held her hand up between them and Madison; creating a sound barrier. "Why is that important?" she hissed.

"Because it might have been her boyfriend, Ben," Beckett whispered back.

"She wouldn't kill him if he was her only source of income," Camille said, louder this time.

"We have to look at every possible motive, Detective White," Beckett snapped.

"A girl her size couldn't overpower Ben. You didn't see him; he looked like a linebacker," Camille countered.

"One kick to the balls, and Ben would be crying like a baby. She could have easily done that then stabbed him," Beckett said.

Camille slapped her hand against the table. "That would have shown up on the ME!"

"Not if she didn't kick him hard enough to leave a bruise!" Beckett whisper-yelled. She realized she was clenching her fist and relaxed it; worried that she might decide to punch someone.

"Whoa, whoa," Madison interrupted. "You think I killed Ben?"

Camille and Beckett stopped arguing and stared at her.

"Well, um…" Camille stuttered.

Beckett -having more confidence and experience- recovered quickly. "At this point, anyone is a suspect, including Ben's family."

Madison sighed. "Oh."

Camille got her bearings. "So was Ben giving you money?"

"Yeah," Madison admitted. "He gave me half of his paycheck from Olive Garden every week to pay my rent and bills."

"Why would he do that?" asked Camille.

Beckett and Madison stared at her as if the answer was obvious.

"Because he loved me and he cared about me," Madison responded.

Camille scoffed. "Oh, please."

"It's true," Madison said.

"The boy was sixteen," Camille said incredulously. "He doesn't know what love is. So what did you do, sleep with him and take his charity?"

Madison narrowed her eyes. "When you're in love, you'll do anything for the other person."

Beckett leaned into Camille. "I wouldn't rule it out," she whispered.

"We can't all afford to be romantics, here, Detective," Camille said loudly.

Madison stared at Camille. "You've obviously never been in love."

"You're too young to know what love is, sweetheart," Camille retorted.

"You're never too young to love," Madison replied, her cocky grin was back. "You're never too old either."

Camille rolled her eyes.

Beckett grabbed Camille by the arm and dragged her to the corner. "You can't let her get to you like that," she whispered. "It shows weakness."

Camille couldn't believe she was being told off by someone who was working under her but she was right; she had lost her upper hand.

Beckett decided to stop being hostile toward Camille and help her out instead. "Always turn the conversation back to the perp; never let it come to you or else they'll get inside your head and cloud your judgment."

Camille refused to look into Beckett's eyes because she hated being wrong. She stomped back to her chair. "Don't tell me what to do," she said under her breath.

Score: Beckett-3 Camille-2

Beckett practically skipped to the table. "Sorry about that, Madison. So where were you between 12:00 and 12:15 yesterday?"

Madison thought for a minute. "It's hard to say, I was submitting resumes everywhere in the city."

"Best guess," Camille said through gritted teeth.

She bit her lip and looked away, "Stiletto."

"The strip club?" asked Beckett.

Camille shot her a 'How did you know that?' look.

Beckett sat back in her chair. She couldn't judge the girl; when you fall on hard times, you take whatever job comes your way. There are worse jobs out there. "You skipped school to go there?"

"I need the money," Madison said quietly. "I told them I was twenty-one and they hired me."

"We're going to check in with your employer," Camille informed her as she stood up.

"No!" Madison pleaded.

"Why not? If you have nothing to hide-" Camille began.

"It's not that it's just that I don't want him to think I got mixed up with the law right after he hired me," Madison said quickly.

Beckett raised an eyebrow. "You should have thought about that before you ditched school."

Madison looked like she was about to cry.

Beckett didn't know what it was; maybe being with Castle has turned her soft, but she felt sorry for Madison. She was eighteen and all alone in the world now. That was around the time her mom had been killed and Beckett could relate. She didn't have anyone to lean on either.

Camille left the room, letting the door slam behind her.

"Look," Beckett whispered, pulling her chair next to Madison. "If you're clear, I'll make sure you get a job. It won't be a great job; it won't even be a good job, but you won't be stripping."

Before Madison could say anything, Beckett got up and exited, leaving the girl to stare after her in astonishment.

Castle was still waiting outside. "That was great!" he bounced on the balls of his feet. "You got to play Good Cop for once."

Beckett nodded. "It just felt like something you would do; it felt right."

Castle grinned and gave her a hug. "I'm glad I'm rubbing off some of my nice on you."

She inhaled and her muscles relaxed in his arms. Then, she pushed him away, turned, and hurled into the nearest trashcan.

Castle sniffed his pits. He nodded to passing uniforms that were courteous enough to pretend like nothing was wrong.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she mumbled, taking a drink from her water bottle.

"It happens," Castle shrugged. "It was probably my cologne. You should go home."

"No, there's work here that needs done," she protested. She hated getting sick; it was a sign of weakness. Sure, it was a sign of weakness in her immune system, but it was still a weakness. Getting sick was for pansies. She turned and puked again.

"Yeah," Castle sighed. "We're going home." He put his arm around her shoulder and ushered her into the elevator.

* * *

He was getting worried about her; Kate was throwing up more and more often and he had to remind her to eat more to make up for what she lost. She had a freakishly fast metabolism as it was and now she was puking up whatever she ate. He knew that it was normal during pregnancy, but Meredith was never this bad so early in.

Kate managed to keep her food down during the ride home and waited until she was in the privacy of the bathroom to start up again.

Meanwhile, Castle made a call to the doctor to see if what she was experiencing was normal. It was, said the doctor. He recommended plenty of bed rest and water.

He waited helplessly as she emptied to contents of her stomach into the porcelain toilet. He himself felt sick too; not for the same reasons of course.

He thought about the conversation about his age with Car Camille earlier that day. He didn't care how he appeared to other women; he cared about how he appeared to Kate. Kate was so much younger than him and he wasn't exactly her usual type. Her exes, Demming, Sorenson, and Josh all had three things in common: athletic bodies, important jobs, and ages still in the 30s. Castle had none of these things. He wasn't the least bit athletic; having been raised by a single mother. He was famous for writing but honestly, who was he helping? Demming was a cop and Sorenson; an FBI agent. Josh set up free medical clinics in Africa and saved people's lives daily. And a motorcycle! What did Castle have? A nice car. And Kate. How does that work?

Normal people start having kids in their early thirties or late twenties. Castle was well into his forties and should be done having children. But here he was, preparing for another baby with two divorces under his belt.

When their kid is ten, he'll be… fifty three?! Damn, that's old! Who knows, he could be dead before his son/daughter is fully grown. Then what will happen? His kid will be fatherless like he was.

He debated talking to Kate about it but since she currently had her head in the toilet, he figured it wasn't the right time to talk about himself.


	9. Chapter 9

Kate was handling her pregnancy marvelously all considering. She was measuring her serving sizes, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, and popping pills like it was nobody's business.

She was only a few days into it and she and Castle both knew that the worst was yet to come.

"She's going to start having weird cravings at random times," Ryan warned, having previous experience with Jenny and their son. "The best thing you can do is satisfy them. If she wants chicken nuggets, you run to KFC. If she wants purple Jell-O, you make her the goddamn Jell-O. Don't question it." Ryan was enjoying giving Castle advice on something he was an expert on.

"Are you guys getting the background or what?" Camille shouted from her desk.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Working on it!" He went back to Googling Madison Moore. "All in all, you just have to be there for her. She's the one who has to do most of the work, the least you can do is get her purple Jello if she wants it," he summarized.

Castle nodded. "I think I can do that."

Ryan shook his head. "You just wait, pal."

He brushed off the comment and went back to Beckett's side.

"Yo," said Espo, coming in from the back room. He waved a file in the air. "Madison's alibi checks out."

Beckett instinctively reached for the file but Esposito blew her off, heading straight for Camille.

"Thank you," Camille said with a flirty smile.

Score: Beckett-3 Camille-3

Beckett ground her teeth as Camille laughed at something funny Espo said. She playfully punched him in the arm. "You're so hilarious, Javi!" Camille said loudly.

_You're so hilarious, Javi!_ Beckett mimicked.

"Wow," said Castle. "Jealous much."

"I'm not jealous," she snapped.

He gave her a wry grin.

"Shut up."

Camille stood in front of the murder board and took down the photo of Madison under "suspects".

"Whoa," Beckett stopped her before she dropped the Polaroid in the trash. "You can't do that."

Camille crossed her arms and glared at her. "Why not? Her alibi checks out."

She took the photo from her and taped it back up. "Because her boss could have lied."

"Why would he do that?" asked Camille, reaching to rip it back off.

Beckett slapped her hand defensively over the picture before she could touch it.

Camille recoiled in surprise.

Score: Beckett-4 Camille-3

She smirked. "Because Madison was cheap labor. She was desperate and would have gladly accepted minimum wage. She was naïve and easily manipulated. He would have wanted to keep her around."

Camille huffed and let the photo stay. She narrowed her eyes at her. "Fine, she's still a suspect."

Castle and Esposito glanced at each other.

"This is so great," Esposito whispered.

Ryan handed Madison and Benjamin's background checks.

"I already checked into Benjamin's parents and siblings," said Camille. "They have no motive for killing Ben."

"That you know of," Beckett interjected, taking Madison's file.

Camille ignored her. "Ben was on the football team. That could have caused rivalries."

"Wait," said Beckett, pointing to the file, "it says here that Madison skipped school yesterday but she had a doctor's note."

"From where?" asked Castle.

Beckett held up the copy of the note. "The NY OB/GYN."

Camille rubbed her temple. "She's pregnant."

"And I'll give you one guess who the father is," said Beckett.

"Benjamin Anderson," Camille concluded.

Beckett turned to Castle. "Looks like we have to go back there sooner than we were expecting."

Castle groaned.

* * *

The OB/GYN was slightly better than last time, possibly because they weren't there as clients. The waiting room was relatively empty and the receptionist was able to talk to them.

"Have you seen this girl?" asked Beckett, holding up a photo of Madison.

The receptionist took a look. "Yes, I think she was here… two days ago? I remember her because she was one of the youngest here."

"Was she with anyone?" asked Castle, glancing at the informative pamphlets displayed in front of him with titles like, Pregnancy 101, Your First Baby, and The Dad's Role.

The receptionist tapped her pen against her front teeth. "I think so. A boy; kind of young."

"Ben," Castle muttered.

"Why was she here?" asked Beckett, knowing very well that she wouldn't get an answer.

As expected, the woman shook her head. "I'm sorry, that's confidential."

Before walking away, Castle discreetly grabbed one of every pamphlet and stuffed them in his jacket before Beckett could see.

"If Madison was pregnant, that gives her motive. Her and her dad," said Beckett.

Castle held the door for her and they stepped outside into the crisp October air. The few trees that lined the street were losing their leaves and as they walked, a wet orange leaf fell and landed on Castle's shoulder. "How so?" he asked as he peeled it off his jacket. He held Beckett's hand as they crossed the street; something she never let him do especially on the job, but he was feeling especially protective of her recently.

"If Ben was going to leave her when he found out she was pregnant, she would want revenge. And her dad would want to _kill _him. I mean, he got his teenage daughter knocked up; he's not going to be too pleased," said Kate.

Castle flinched, thinking about the dinner they had that night with Beckett's father. "But Madison said that her parents picked up and left."

Beckett pried her hand from his. "She didn't say exactly _when_. Maybe her dad killed him then fled the city."

"So how do we find him then?" asked Castle, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her to the side as she was about to walk across a steaming manhole. There were so many unseen dangers he had never noticed before like the swaying streetlights and empty 409 bottles littering the street outside an old blown-out building.

Beckett sensed his paranoia and decided to mess with him by standing on a rusty subway grate and jumping up and down. The metal creaked underneath her with every jump.

Castle gasped and dragged her off as she laughed.

"We track his phone and credit card," she replied to his previous question.

"I don't think we're looking at the big picture here," said Castle as he pressed the button to give them the right to cross. "Why would the murder weapon be pencils?"

Beckett shrugged and took a step into the street. Real New Yorkers didn't wait for the Walk sign to walk.

Castle grabbed her and pulled her back as a crazy cabbie sped past.

"Maybe that's all they had on them," said Beckett, smoothing out her hair nonchalantly after her brush with death.

"But why carry two pencils? One, I can understand but _two_? If you're going to plan this, carry a knife with you," Castle said.

The light changed from Do Not Walk to Walk. "Unless it wasn't premeditated," said Beckett.

* * *

They left the precinct early that day to prepare for the dinner.

Kate was nervous and jittery as she prepared the roast. What if her dad was upset? He always expected her to get married and have kids respectively. What if Jim went into a rage and stabbed Castle with pencils? She couldn't see him doing that but you never know with men. They're so unpredictable; you never know what their next move will be.

What if Alexis didn't react well? She had been an only child her entire life, maybe she didn't want to share her father's affection with a new baby. Alexis was a composed young lady but she did have Castle's attention whenever she needed it.

At least there was a guarantee that Martha would be thrilled. Martha was always supportive of their relationship.

Castle set the table for five, pouring red wine for everyone and grape juice for Kate so as not to draw suspicion before breaking the news.

He looked over at her. She had stopped in the middle of chopping a cucumber and was staring blankly into the middle distance. "Hey," he said to get her attention. "Are you okay?"

She gave him a grim smile. "I'm fine, Castle," she said quietly.

He didn't believe her for one second but let it go until after dinner.

"Are you?" she asked a few minutes later when he thought she had moved on.

"What?" he had heard her perfectly well.

"Are you okay?" she repeated. She was watching him with a careful gaze, analyzing his little movements as he placed silverware.

He carefully adjusted the salad fork so it was in perfect alignment with the knife. "Fine," he lied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She stared at him for a moment longer before going back to cutting. Something seemed off about him, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

They didn't talk for the whole time before their parents arrived.

Martha was first to come since she lived right upstairs. "Katherine, darling that smells marvelous!" she said as she descended the stairs in a flowy silk dress.

"Thank you, Martha," she said as Martha gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I love your dress."

Martha spread her arms and twirled. "Isn't it lovely? I special ordered it from Saks for tonight." She turned to her son. "Richard, I hope you don't mind that I used your credit card."

Castle sighed as he put the large salad bowl on the table. "Not at all, Mother."

The entire loft filled with the rich smells of the roast and the potato soup that was simmering on the stove.

Martha helped them in the kitchen; preparing green beans and searching for the sea salt. "Oh, Alexis called and said that she was going to be a little late. She had a test earlier that she went into overtime to finish," she told them.

Ten minutes later, right on time at 6:30 exactly, the doorbell rang. "Rick, good to see you, young man!" Jim said as he was let inside.

Castle shook his hand. "It's great to see you too, Mr. Beckett."

"Hi, Dad!" Kate said nervously, giving Jim a hug. She exchanged a panicked look with Castle over his shoulder.

Martha emerged from the kitchen. "Hello, James!" she said, priming her red locks.

"Martha, you look fantastic," Jim said politely, taking her hand.

"Oh this?" Martha said, tugging at the hem of her dress. "I just pulled this out of the back of my closet, it's nothing."

Castle hid a smirk.

Kate excused herself to pull the roast out of the oven.

Castle told Jim and Martha to have a seat in the living room while he helped with the roast.

"So far so good," Castle mumbled as he took the carving knife from Kate and finished the job.

"It's certainly going better than last time," said Kate, remembering the awful first dinner they had with their parents. "Let's just hope we can keep them off the topic of baseball and acting."

Castle carried the pan to the table.

"That looks great," said Jim, pulling Martha's chair out for her.

Castle did the same for Kate.

They all sat and the food was distributed. Everyone made small talk about Castle and Kate's trip to the Hamptons, Jim's new house, and Martha's charity benefit.

Martha dabbed the corner of her mouth with her cloth napkin and set it back in her lap. "So, dears, what's the big news?"

Castle glanced at his watch. "We wanted to wait for Alexis to tell you," he said.

As if on cue, Alexis burst through the door. "Sorry I'm late," she apologized, hanging her coat and scarf on the rack. She gave Martha and Rick a kiss hello and shook Jim's hand before taking her seat. She took a huge gulp of her drink before realizing that it was wine and switching it for water.

Kate took a nervous sip of her grape juice as Castle took her hand.

"Did you tell them yet?" asked Alexis, cheeks still flushed from the cold.

"No, we were waiting for you," Castle said, looking at Kate.

Martha leaned forward in her chair in anticipation.

"The thing is…" Kate began, then chickened out, "tell them, Rick."

"Kate's pregnant," Castle blurted before he could hesitate.

Kate and Rick held their breaths, waiting for their reactions.

"No way!" Alexis shrieked. "That's so great, congratulations!"

"Wonderful, dear!" Martha said, happy tears springing in her eyes. "Katherine, I'm so happy for you."

Kate remained silent, her gazed fixed on her unusually quiet dad. "Dad?" she asked hesitantly.

Jim's mouth hung open but she couldn't quite read his expression. He cleared his throat and forced a smile. "Congratulations," he croaked.

Rick gave a sigh of relief that Jim hadn't jumped across the table and strangled him… yet.

But Kate wasn't so convinced that Jim was okay with the news. She let it slide for now.

They finished dinner in a civil manner. Thankfully, Martha and Alexis were able to keep the conversation going with excited chatter about the baby.

Alexis couldn't get over the fact that she was going to be a big sister and she wondered aloud what they would name it.

Castle looked at Kate. "We want to wait until the baby's born to decide. But we did choose our godparents."

Alexis bit her knuckles and crinkled her eyes, waiting for what she knew was about to come.

Kate smiled and reached across the table to take Alexis's hand. "Alexis, we want you to be the godmother."

Alexis squealed with joy and hurried around the table to give them both hugs. "Thank you!" she said excitedly.

"Who's the godfather?" asked Martha, clasping her hands together.

"We decided on Ryan and Esposito," said Castle. "We couldn't choose between the two so we figured, why not both?"

"I bet they were excited about that," said Alexis. She took out her phone and to tweet the news.

Kate glanced at her dad again who was pretending to be listening while he moved the remains of his food around on his plate.

Jim caught her staring and he smiled.

She smiled back and went back to the conversation going on between Alexis and Rick.

When the plates were cleared, they retired to the living room for coffee and cupcakes.

Before Jim sat, however, he excused himself to use the bathroom.

After about ten minutes and Jim still hadn't come back, Kate knew that something was wrong.

She found him on the balcony, leaning over the railing and staring at the skyline. She closed the door loudly and he looked over his shoulder. "Hey," she said, wrapping her arms around herself to keep out the cold.

"Hey," he smiled sadly. He ran his thumbs over the rim of the glass he had in his hand.

Kate looked at the glass tentatively. She hated seeing any drink in her dad's hand, even if it was just soda; it brought back bad memories. She flashed back to a time after her mom's murder when she found her dad passed out on the floor with a flask next to him.

She fingered the black watch on her wrist and moved to stand next to him.

He sighed and set the drink down. "I'm sorry I'm not being very supportive, Katie."

She swallowed and looked to the street below. "It's fine if you don't approve."

"No, Katie, it's not that," he said, turning to face her, "I'm thrilled for you. I know that you'll make a fine mother."

She pushed her hair away from her face.

Jim placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's just that I always thought that your mom would be here to witness this day."

Tears suddenly sprang into Kate's eyes.

He shook his head. "I thought that she would be there to hold her granddaughter or grandson and to babysit when you and your husband go out to dinner."

Kate imagined Johanna being there in the delivery room, leaning over her bed and giving her a hug. She could see the wrinkles form in the corner of her mom's mouth when she smiled as Rick would hand her the bundle.

She brushed her hand against her eyes and noticed that her dad was crying too. "Me too."

Jim smiled. "Your mom would be proud of you, Katie."

She bit her lip. That's all Kate ever strived for each and every day; to make her mom proud. To hear her dad say this meant to world to her. It was the best thing he could ever have said to her. She threw herself into his open arms and he held her like he did when she was a little girl. At that moment, the world seemed right and she knew that everything was going to be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

Castle dumped all of the dirty dishes into the sink and turned on the hot water. He squirted Dawn on top of them and watched as the mixture turned to suds.

Kate was distractedly wrapping the leftovers and putting them in the refrigerator.

"Your dad seemed to take it well," said Castle.

She pushed her hair behind her ear only to have it fall back into place again. "He acted like it but he wasn't."

"He didn't let on that he wasn't," Castle said, dunking his hands into the scalding water.

"It didn't have anything to do with us. He just wished that my mom was there," Kate muttered.

Castle caught on. "And you do too." He dried his hands on a dish towel.

Kate stood in front of the open fridge, staring blankly at its contents. Something about the cold air coming out of it helped clear her mind. "Yeah," she sighed.

She jumped when he embraced her from behind, closing the door at the same time.

"I wish she was here every day," Kate admitted. "Today is no different." For what felt like the millionth time, she grasped the engagement ring around her neck and ran her thumb over the hard edges of the diamond.

Castle noticed this and pushed her hair away from her back, carefully undoing the metal clasp.

She wondered what he was doing as the chain left her chest and she turned to face him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. An intricate silver chain that sparkled in the lamplight rested inside. He slid her mom's ring off of the old rusting chain and replaced it with the new one. Then, he held up her left wrist and put his hand over the bulky watch. "For the life you saved." He put the ring in between his fingers. "For the life you lost." He stepped behind her and put the new chain around her neck. "And for the life you created."

She placed her hand over it. "It's beautiful," she whispered, giving him a kiss. "Thank you."

"Always," he replied.

* * *

"Oh, honey," Lanie said, admiring Rick's gift. "You're in deep." They were in the morgue and Kate had come to visit her friend during break.

"I know," Kate said proudly, tucking the ring back under her shirt.

Lanie finished stitching up a stiff and snipped the thread. "Have you two stopped avoiding each other?"

"We agreed to tell each other everything from now on," said Kate, picking up a sharp looking tool and examining it.

"Have you?" asked Lanie.

Kate hesitated, putting down the tool. "No."

"Has he?"

Kate bit her lip. "I think we're both still holding back on some things… for the other's sake."

Lanie shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "You had an agreement, Kate."

"I know," Kate said guiltily. "I think I'm still trying to keep one foot out the door just in case."

Lanie arched her eyebrow. "In case of what, exactly?"

Kate shrugged. "In case… in case it doesn't work out."

The medical examiner rolled her eyes. "Kate, honey, I'm saying this as your friend. You're having his baby. You need to be all in that door. Having one foot out will just wind up hurting him in the end."

Kate hated that she was right but it still frightened her to be 100% committed to someone. Everyone she had ever trusted in her life wound up hurting her. Her dad, Royce, Montgomery, to name a few.

"Castle said something the other day that I think has been bothering him even though I think it's silly for him to worry about…" Kate said, biting her thumb.

Lanie waited for her to continue.

Kate gripped the edges of the examination table. "He thinks he's old."

"He's not old," Lanie said flatly.

"I know!" Kate exclaimed. "But he thinks so. I mean, he has an adult daughter but that doesn't make him old, right?"

"Hell, no," Lanie assured her. "Castle's a good looking man. He shouldn't be worried about his looks yet."

"See, I don't think that's it," Kate said, "He's a narcissist sometimes but not to this point."

"Maybe he's worried that he won't be around long for your baby," Lanie suggested.

"He's not _that _old," said Kate.

"I'm just saying," Lanie said, putting her gloved hands up, "he could be thinking about it. He's certainly not _young _anymore."

"He sure acts like it," Kate joked.

The morgue door banged open. Cold Camille (Castle had told her about the nickname he had given the new detective) stood in the doorway looking angry.

"Oh, great," Kate muttered. She chose a scalpel from Lanie's tray of instruments and gripped it tightly. She wasn't thinking about stabbing her but she needed something to squeeze as an outlet to the stress that Camille always brought on when she was in the room.

"Beckett," Cold Camille nodded to her.

"Detective White," Kate responded.

Camille turned to Lanie and stuck her hand out. "I need those reports."

Lanie stared in disgust at Camille's outstretched hand. "They haven't come yet."

Camille huffed. "When are they coming in?"

Lanie shrugged. "How should I know? I don't control mail." Her computer dinged and she pointed over her shoulder. "Look, there they are now."

"About time," Cold Camille muttered.

Lanie printed the DNA results.

Camille held out her hand to take it but Lanie ignored her, choosing instead to give it to Beckett.

Score: Beckett-5 Camille-3

Beckett and Lanie smiled at each other.

Camille tried to pretend like she had stuck her hand out to smooth her hair.

"Ben is the father of Madison's baby," said Beckett, reading the report.

"What does that mean?" asked Camille.

"It means that her parents are suspects," Lanie said. "And whoever else knew about the pregnancy."

The door swung open once more and this time, Esposito sauntered in. The spicy-sweet smell of his Ralph Lauren cologne pierced the air as he entered. The only time he wore cologne to work was when he was trying to impress someone and this time, it wasn't Lanie.

"Hey ladies," Esposito said cheerfully. "What are we chatting about?"

"Hi, Javi," said Camille, draping her arm around his shoulder like she was his personal scarf. "We were just talking about the case, weren't we, Beckett?"

Lanie sniffed and turned away sourly.

Kate looked from Lanie to Camille. "Um, yeah," she responded because that was the truth. "Ben is the father."

"Guess what else I found out about Madison?" Esposito said.

"What?" asked Beckett and Camille in unison.

They glared.

"Madison was cheating on Ben with a guy named Justin Lake." Esposito handed them Justin's file. "Age twenty-one; B&E in '10 and battery charge in '12. That's just what's on him so far, there's no telling what's on his juvie papers."

Beckett pieced it together. "So Justin could have found out about the baby and killed Ben for sleeping with his girlfriend."

"That's my guess," said Esposito.

"Did you track down Madison's dad?" asked Camille, snatching the file from Beckett. The edge of the paper sliced into her hand and left a cut.

Score: Beckett-5 Camille-4

"Boston PD found him hiding out at an abandoned warehouse with his wife nowhere to be found," said Esposito. "Uniforms are bringing him in now."

Beckett longed to suck the blood from her palm but wouldn't dare give Cold Camille the satisfaction. "Did you get Justin too?"

"We're trying but according to his employer, Justin went AWOL around the time of Ben's murder," Esposito said apologetically.

Camille snapped the folder shut. "He works at Stiletto?"

"That's where Madison got a job," said Beckett.

"I know that," Camille snapped.

"I know you know that, I was telling Esposito," Beckett responded. She couldn't believe she was even bothering to argue with this girl. It was like being back in high school and Camille was the new Queen Bee. She couldn't believe how immature Camille was acting.

"He doesn't strip there, does he?" asked Camille.

"No, he's a bouncer," Esposito said.

"Good, I've had enough experience with male strippers," said Beckett, referring to the trip she and Castle took to a strip club to investigate.

"I bet you do," Camille said, giving her a surly grin.

"Bitch," Lanie muttered from across the room, not realizing how loudly she said it.

They all turned to look at her and she pretended to be talking to the corpse she was working on.

* * *

Kate let out a deep breath as she flopped into her chair and put her head in her hands. She had a massive headache that no amount of Tylenol would fix. She blamed it on hunger and fatigue; she had spent the night throwing up and had barely gotten any rest and whatever she ate, came up again.

Rick tried feeding her anything that might settle her stomach, but nothing would stay down. Kate was skinny before but she could already tell that she was losing weight quickly. She could see her ribs through her skin and her tan skin had turned ashy. Some girls would love to be her weight, but Kate knew that it wasn't good for her or the baby.

Rick had insisted that she see a doctor right away so she only had to make it three more hours before she could leave for the appointment.

She couldn't put it out of her mind; no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't stop thinking about what Rick had written. She knew that he would never act on it, but the fact that he _thought _about leaving made her nervous.

Then again, Castle thought about killing people too but that didn't mean anything… right? She hoped not but he had never shared why he was obsessed with death. 'Obsessed' was a harsh word. He had a _fascination _with death.

Yes, he thought about leaving like he thought about killing people, she assured herself. To anyone else, this would not be comforting but Kate found solace in this conclusion so she clung to it.

He said he would never leave her because he loved her so much and Jameson was just being a jackass. But Jameson _was _him and he was Jameson; just like she was Nikki. She marveled at how much his books reflected life but sometimes they were just too on the nose.

Castle had never written something happening to Jameson and Nikki before it happened to them. If he did write the future, it was something he wanted to occur; like when he wrote the sex scene between Jameson and Nikki, he wanted to sleep with her. That's how he got inspiration; by experiencing it in real life or fantasizing about it. Most likely, what you read in a Heat novel happened at one point or another. She wondered if Castle's new ability to write their future is a sign of things to come.

* * *

At the same time, Castle was having a mini panic attack about Kate's health. She hadn't properly digested anything all week and she had lost the playful spark in her eye. He briefly wondered if it was depression or something in the back of her mind that was still bothering her. After the first night, he thought that she had finally embraced the idea of having a baby. It was almost uncharacteristic how quickly she pulled herself together and dove into it. There was no convincing, no should I- shouldn't I, just a straightforward acceptance of the situation.

He didn't mention his concern with her because that would only cause her to worry too. He had to be supportive, that's what the pamphlet from the OB/GYN –and Ryan-said. He wasn't about to make her more stressed out than she already was.

* * *

"Morning sickness is a good thing," said Dr. Howard.

_Funny, _thought Kate, _it doesn't feel like a good thing_ _when I have my head in the bowl for five hours._

Dr. Howard continued, waving his hands around a lot when he talked.

Castle wondered if he was Italian but decided not to ask him so as not to sound like a stereotypical jackass.

"Women who have morning sickness are significantly less likely to miscarry," said Dr. Howard, forming an oval with his fingers and moving them in a circle while his patients tried to figure out what he was trying to act out with his hands.

Castle was too busy watching Dr. Howard's gestures to realize that he had stopped talking. "That's good, I guess," he said, assuming that Dr. Howard was waiting for his reaction.

"Try eating small meals during the day and figure out what foods work and what don't. I'd stay away from acids and spicy foods," said Dr. Howard, miming eating.

* * *

Eggs. That's what food worked for Kate. Eggs and only eggs.

Castle, being the good boyfriend that he was, made her more eggs than she cared for. He made them in every way imaginable; fried, poached, boiled, scrambled, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, over-easy. He didn't even know what half of these methods were until Kate got tired of scrambled and he Googled "ways to prepare and egg".

For being her personal egg cook, she occasionally rewarded him in bed. Only occasionally did this happen because when they were at home, she was either sick, about to be sick, or sleeping.

Castle didn't mind though. He was always there to hold her hair back when she didn't have a tie at hand and was armed with Altoids 24/7. He liked to think of himself as the Ultimate Pregnancy Buddy.

Maybe he'd get a medal for it someday from the president of Huggies.


	11. Chapter 11

Ultimate Pregnancy Buddy's patience was running short. The combination of lack of sleep, withdrawal from coffee, and Cold Camille's constant haranguing was really starting to damage his calm.

Castle spent most of the night tossing and turning, worrying about this and that and eventually giving up on sleep altogether (it was overrated anyways) and went to write.

Kate was different; going through the same thing he was but she was running on pure adrenaline and Beckett power that she musters from God knows where when faced with a challenge.

She was barely paying attention as Camille ranted on about the case while scribbling on the murder board.

Kate found it annoying how messy Camille arranged the board and how she dotted her I's with little circles. What was the point of that? It just took longer and looked juvenile. At least Camille didn't dot her I's with hearts or else Kate might have literally strangled her with the stupid Hermes scarf she wore every other day.

She took notes and gritted her teeth as Camille filled the team in on the latest breakthrough with Mr. Moore.

Castle looked over at her as she crossed her T a little too violently and ripped through the paper with her pen.

"Fuck," she grumbled.

Everyone stopped and stared at her as she flipped to a new page and continued to write.

When she realized that she had everyone's attention, she blushed and ran her hand self-consciously through her hair. She apologized. "Please continue."

Camille turned back to the board. "Gregory Moore is in custody right now but he's taken the silent road. He hasn't asked for a lawyer either but until he talks, we have to assume he's guilty."

Beckett nodded, noticing that Camille had taken her tips under advisement.

"Now, he's either not talking to protect himself, his wife, or the real killer. We're running his phone records because I think he might be being blackmailed by the killer to keep quiet. What he might have against him we can only guess until we get the reports back," she gave Beckett a pointed look because she was the one in charge of getting the papers.

Beckett had gotten the papers moments ago but was holding them out of spite.

"I was hoping that one of you could get a confession out of him," Camille said.

Beckett noticed that Camille was avoiding looking at her.

"I think Beckett should do it," Ryan offered.

Beckett gave him a grateful smile.

"Yeah, Beckett's the best in interrogations," said Castle.

Camille shook her head. "I don't think so. Detective Beckett seems to have a soft spot for our suspects." She was referring to the promise to Madison to get her a job.

"Sometimes you have to show compassion to them to get them to talk; it shows that you're on their side and you won't twist every word against them," Beckett said.

Camille turned to Espo. "What do you think, Javi?"

Esposito was torn between teams. He wanted to be loyal to Beckett but he also wanted to get with Camille. He sighed, knowing that he was blowing his chances when he said, "I think Beckett's our best bet."

Camille took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. She had been sure that Esposito would side with her. "Fine."

Score: Beckett-6 Camille-3

Castle knew that a good morning of interrogation room would cheer Beckett up, especially if she got some information. That room was like Beckett's home turf. No one showed her up in there and she never lost to a visiting team.

Beckett strode into the room with an air of confidence. She looked like she was in her element as she rounded the table where Greg Moore sat picking his cuticles.

She tossed the file she was carrying on the table in front of Moore, making him jump. As she watched her suspect like a lioness stalks her prey, she tried to determine her angle. She could be the nice cop that wanted to help him or the tough one that invaded his space and made him uncomfortable. She decided to start out being nice and if that didn't work, she would turn the tables.

She sat down and crossed her legs. "Hi, Mr. Moore, how are you?"

Moore didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I just need to ask you a few questions," Beckett continued.

He blinked. He was a medium built man with black hair and pale skin. Beckett noticed that he and Madison's faces were nearly identical in every way down to the hollow look in their eyes.

"Where were you between 12:00 and 12:15 on Tuesday morning?"

Silence.

Beckett uncrossed her legs and sat forward. "Mr. Moore, staying quiet only makes you look like you have something to hide."

Moore remained impassive.

"Fine," Beckett sighed and stood up. "You can spend the night in lockup."

Moore jumped. He had just had the worst few hours in the holding cell next to a recovering meth addict that had bad withdrawal symptoms. "Wait!"

She paused on her way to the door.

Moore cleared his throat. "I have the right not to testify against myself or my spouse."

Beckett switched the folder from one hand to the other. "Which one are you not testifying against?"

He swallowed. "My spouse."

She nodded. He had pretty much admitted that his wife was the killer. "Anything else you want to _not_ tell me? Like where your wife is? You won't be testifying against her per se. If she isn't responsible, you'll be helping her in the long run. Resisting arrest will just get her more time."

Moore gripped the edge of the table. "I don't know. When I woke up this morning, she wasn't there." He spoke slowly, careful not to give away too much.

"Why did you leave?" asked Beckett, walking towards him.

He didn't look her in the eye; he looked over her shoulder into the two way mirror. "I don't know. Lucy just came home two days ago saying that she wanted to get out of the city for a while."

"And you just left your daughter to fend for herself?" Beckett said accusingly.

"No!" Moore said quickly. "It wasn't like that! Lucy said that Maddy would just be baggage and we couldn't take her out of school. I didn't know that Lucy planned on leaving for good or else I would have insisted on taking Madison." Moore said, beginning to sweat. "Lucy told me that we had to lay low for a while. When I asked her why, she wouldn't tell me! And I still don't have an answer."

She bit her lip. "Did you know that Madison is pregnant?"

His jaw dropped.

"I'll take that as a no," Beckett said.

"Damn," Moore mumbled in shock.

"Your wife… Lucy you said her name was? I think she might have gone after Ben when she found out," said Beckett.

"No," Moore shook his head furiously. "Lucy wouldn't do that. I know this looks bad… what I told you and all, but I know Lucy. She wouldn't ever kill someone."

Beckett grinned. "That's all I need."

Moore analyzed every word he had just said to make sure he didn't let anything slip. "What? That's it? Do you know where my wife is?"

She didn't answer as she strode out of the room.

Castle was waiting for her outside. "That was great!" he said, sweeping her into a hug. "You know what this means, right?"

"Moore is guilty," Beckett said.

Camille was still standing in front of the window, watching Moore. "How did you come to that conclusion?" she pointed to Moore who was nervously tapping his foot. "He didn't say _anything_."

"He said _everything_," Beckett said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I told Moore that his wife _went after _Benjamin Anderson."

"And right after that, he said that his wife would never _kill _someone even though he was never told that Ben was murdered," Castle finished for her.

Camille looked amazed. "You tricked him."

Score: Beckett-7 Camille-3

Beckett shrugged. "I can do that."

* * *

Ryan tossed a document on Beckett's desk. "Moore is innocent."

"What?!" Beckett, Castle, and Camille said in unison.

Ryan frowned. "His alibi checks out. He used an ATM ten miles away from the crime scene to withdraw a twenty during the timeframe."

"That's pretty damn convenient," Beckett said, slapping her hand on the table.

"That's what I was thinking," Camille jumped in.

Beckett glanced over her shoulder. She was about to say something snarky back but decided that she was through fighting with the amateur. Camille wasn't worth her breath.

"There's video footage to prove it," Ryan shrugged. "It's definitely him. There's no way he could have made the withdrawal and gone to the scene to fit the frame."

Beckett slammed her back into the chair.

Castle flinched.

"We're back to square one," said Camille.

Beckett gave her a dirty look. She knew that they were back to square one; she was just stating the obvious. "Any progress finding Justin Lake or Lucy Moore?"

"Not yet," said Ryan. "Esposito's still working on it."

"If we don't find them soon, we'll never get this case wrapped," said Beckett. She adjusted the line of elephants at the head of her desk just for something to do with her hands. "Why would Moore drop that bullshit about his wife? He could have pegged it on anyone else and he chose her."

"It was convenient," said Castle. "She was on the run with him and it made her look guilty." His watched beeped five times. "It doesn't look like we're going to make any advances tonight. We'd better head home," he said to Beckett.

Beckett didn't argue. Normally, she would have insisted on staying behind until the case had some closure; she wouldn't be able to sleep until the killer was behind bars. But she was exhausted beyond belief tonight and she only wanted to go home and rest. Hopefully, she could get a few hours of sleep before the effects of insomnia took its toll.

* * *

Kate felt sorry for Castle. He was being so supportive of her and she didn't know how to thank him. Well, that's a lie. She _did _know the best way to thank him but she just didn't have the energy to. They used to have sex basically every night but that routine had gone as soon as the morning (and day and night) sickness set in.

After three hours of not sleeping, Kate got up and joined Rick in his study. He was hunched over his laptop, typing furiously. He reminded her of Lemony Snicket at his typewriter in the clock tower. He looked up when she entered. "Hi," he said in a surprised tone.

"Hey," she said, coming around the desk and sitting on the edge of it. When she sat back, her feet didn't quite reach the floor so she rested them on the knob of one of the drawers. "I couldn't sleep."

"I gathered," he said, taking her hand and stroking it affectionately with his thumb.

She watched as he raised her fingers to his lips and carefully kissed each one, never breaking eye contact as he did.

"Has Jameson won Nikki back?" she asked, swiveling the computer screen towards her. He had one of those fancy new laptops that could twist and flip in every direction imaginable.

He sighed. "No. It's going to take a lot for Nikki to forgive him."

Kate turned the screen back to its normal position. "Because she's always going to be thinking about it."

"Exactly," he said.

She blinked. "Why was Jameson so terrified?"

Castle paused and fiddled with the mouse. "He's worried that he's too old to have another kid. He thinks it's too late for him to learn to love like that again."

Kate noticed that he had said "another kid" and "again". Jameson Rook didn't have a kid. "That's crazy. You're never too old to love." She grimaced when she realized she had just quoted Madison Moore.

"But he's not going to be the right age to be a dad," Castle protested. "Everyone's going to think he's the grandfather."

"No one's going to think that," Kate said as she pulled his hand towards her heart. "Jameson is handsome, strong, and he's young at heart. That's all that matters."

"Are you sure? Don't you think that Nikki is too young for him?" Castle asked uncertainly.

"No, I don't," Kate said, closing both of her hands around his and resting them under her chin. "I think that Nikki would still love him even if he was one hundred years her senior."

Castle grinned. "That would be kinda gross."

Kate let go of his hand and smacked him playfully. "You know what I mean."

They stared at each other for a moment before Castle cleared his throat. "Have you been thinking about names for the baby?"

"Yeah," Kate stated. When she was a teenager, she and her friends had fun thinking of what they wanted to name their kids one day. Of course, their decisions had changed since then.

"Me too," Castle grinned. He had that mischievous glint in his eye that he always got when he was excited. "I want the name to mean something to us..."

She nodded. "I agree."

He took out a notepad and tore a piece off. "You write down your name for a boy and one for a girl and I'll do the same."

She grabbed the fountain pen lying under a stack of manuscripts.

Kate began writing before realizing that Castle was watching her. She covered the paper with her hand. "No peeking!"

Castle chuckled and started writing himself.

After a minute, they both folded the papers and handed them to each other.

"On the count of three," said Castle, barely containing his excitement.

Kate smiled. "One."

Castle closed his eyes and peeled back the corner, running the rough parchment between his forefinger and thumb. "Two."

"Three."

They tore the papers open.

A wide smile spread across his face as Castle read the names that Kate had written.

_Boy- Jameson, Girl-Johanna_

Kate grinned when she read Rick's picks.

_Boy- Jameson, Girl-Johanna_


	12. Chapter 12

They both slept soundly for the first time in days. There were no worries or distractions keeping them from getting a good night of dreams in.

They were in such a deep sleep that they didn't hear the alarm go off.

Kate woke up with sun in her eyes which didn't happen on a normal day. She glanced at the clock. 10:10 AM. She swore under her breath as she threw the covers off of them.

Castle turned on his side and curled up against the sudden cold.

Kate shook him. "Castle, get up, we're late."

He grumbled and pulled the sheet up over his bare chest. "Five more minutes, Mother. No school today."

She rolled her eyes and shook him harder. "No, get up, now."

He didn't budge.

"I didn't want to have to do this," Kate said. She grabbed the blanket he was laying on and pulled it upwards with surprising strength.

Castle went rolling off the bed and hit the floor with a loud thud.

She rounded the bed to see if he was getting up.

He wasn't.

He continued to snore on the floor with his head resting in his arms.

"Dear, Jesus, it's like I'm living with a child," Kate muttered as she nudged his cheek with her toe.

"Mmm," Castle said still half in dream land. "Do you like that?"

"No!" she yelled. "Get up or I'm leaving without you!"

His eyes fluttered open. "Bossy, are we?"

She went to his closet and tossed him a button down and his pants. "Get dressed. White's going to chew my head off."

He picked himself off the floor and pulled his pants on.

Kate whipped her shirt off and tossed it in the pile of their dirty laundry rapidly accumulating at the bottom of Rick's closet.

There was a section of the clothes rack that Rick had cleared for some of her clothes. She selected a plain T-shirt and jacket, not bothering with a bra before putting them on.

She noticed that Castle had stopped dressing to watch the private strip show. She clapped her hands loudly. "Let's go! Hurry up!"

"Okay, okay," he smirked, hitching his pants up and securing them with a belt.

They ran out of the bedroom, Kate still pulling her heels on at the same time, and sprinted out the door. She glanced at herself in the reflection of the elevator. She had bad bedhead and hadn't done her makeup. Rick's shirt was misbuttoned and he tucked his shirt in while they descended.

There was the normal morning commute traffic so by the time they finally made it to the 12th, it was five of eleven.

Camille was sitting on Esposito's desk when they came in.

Kate and Castle both smoothed down their rumpled clothes as they dove into their chairs.

Camille walked up to them with her arms crossed. "You're late."

Beckett pushed her hair from her face. "Ya don't say."

Esposito smirked as he came up behind Camille. "What were you guys doing? Going at it in the Ferrari on the way over?" He nudged Castle teasingly. "The elevator? Supply closet?" He snickered.

"Knock it off," Castle snapped. As a matter of fact, they _had _done it in all of those places but Castle hadn't had his coffee and he wasn't in the mood to listen to Esposito.

Camille didn't find the situation as funny as Esposito. "You know, I could tell Gates."

Beckett wasn't concerned. "That I'm late? Please, Gates has bigger fish to fry. Don't you have something better to do too?" Camille obviously wasn't aiming to be accepted into the team. When someone was running late, the others covered for them, no questions asked. It's the silent code of Team Beckett.

Camille frowned. "As a matter of fact, while you two were sleeping in, we found Lucy Moore."

"Is that so?" Beckett asked, trying to sound like she didn't care. She checked her phone for texts even though no one texted her outside of her team and her dad occasionally.

"She was floating in the harbor," Esposito said.

Beckett pocketed her phone. "Oh."

"Any prints?" asked Castle, knowing that the death was connected to the case.

"Yeah," said Camille. "They belong to Mr. Gregory Moore." She pointed to the copy of the fingerprints on the murder board. "He's guilty of both kills."

"Not necessarily," Beckett said.

Camille scoffed. "C'mon, Beckett. You said yesterday that he was guilty."

"But we can't prove it past the prints," she countered. "Those could easily have been placed."

"Yeah," Castle said, backing Beckett up. "The real killer could have been blackmailing Moore to stay quiet or else he would come after him. So when the killer found out that Moore had been talking to the police, he killed his wife because Greg is safe in lockup. It's just a warning shot of what's to come if he gives anything else up."

"So that would mean that Moore must know who the killer is," said Camille. "if he's being blackmailed to keep quiet." She turned to Esposito. "Run his phone records; see who he's been in contact with."

Esposito jogged off.

Beckett shook her head in disbelief. "Blackmail to cover up a murder never ends well."

Castle sighed and leaned up against the murder board. It began tilting backwards and he righted himself. "At least we know that neither of the Moores are behind this. That narrows it down to the boyfriend."

Esposito ran back into the pen. "Yo, Becks-"

"Don't call me Becks."

Esposito held up a Ziploc with a black Motorola inside. He threw a beautiful long pass that he thanked his years of varsity ball for. "Incoming call, blocked number."

Beckett assumed that it was Gregory Moore's phone that she was answering. "Yes?"

"Tell Moore that he better honor our agreement or much more is going to come his way," said the person. Whoever was calling knew what they were doing because he used a voice modifier that made him sound like he had swallowed helium.

"I'll let him know," Beckett said with a smirk. "What name can I leave him for a callback?"

The helium voice's laugh made Beckett pull the phone away from her ear momentarily to keep from going deaf. "Tell him it's Pond." The line went dead.

"Idiot," Beckett muttered.

"What?" Camille and Castle asked.

"Who was it?" asked Esposito.

Beckett put the phone back in the baggie. "Justin Lake."

"He actually told you that?" Camille asked in disbelief.

"Of course not," Beckett frowned. "He's not _that _dumb. He said it was 'Pond'. He thought he was being clever."

Camille cocked her head. "And you think that's Lake."

"Who else could it be?" Beckett said. She handed the phone back to Esposito. "See if tech can trace it."

Esposito was tired of being the carrier pigeon for the women on his team but he didn't argue because it was Beckett and he knew that she could kick his ass. He took a deep breath and ran down to the tech department. He didn't mind it down there because there was a cute tech intern and for some reason, Lanie was angry with him so that gave him a hall pass to flirt the day away.

* * *

"Hey, Lillian," Esposito grinned at the intern.

"Hi, Javi," said Lillian, taking her huge headphones off. She had been busy unscrambling a call when he came in.

"How you doin', girl?" Esposito said, sweeping Lillian's pile of binders to the side and sitting next to her computer.

Lillian rolled her eyes. Everyone knew that Esposito had a thing with Lanie and she wasn't about to start inter-work area drama. "Was there something you wanted?" she said smartly.

Esposito's smile dropped. First Camille stopped flirting with him and now Lillian? Being Lanie's boyfriend (could he call himself her boyfriend?) was like wearing a chastity belt. He slid the phone to her. "I need you to trace the last call."

Lillian unzipped the bag and *69ed the call while plugging it into her computer. A large map of the east coast came up on the screen showing the rough outline of the terrain. Codes started running across the screen that meant nothing to someone who didn't work tech by day. As the numbers started narrowing, the map got smaller and smaller. It zeroed in on New York then on Manhattan and then stopped when it specified itself down to the street. A red dot began blinking over the intersection between 9th and 10th Avenue.

Lillian printed the address and gave it to Esposito.

"Thanks," he said, taking the phone and paper from her. He started to leave. "Hey, I was wondering-"

Lillian went back to work. "No."

"Okay," said Espo, hurrying away.

* * *

Camille looked pleased when Esposito came back with the address but Beckett just looked skeptical.

"What?" he groaned. He sensed another run coming on.

"It's too easy," Castle said.

"Exactly," Beckett mumbled. She swept her hair from one side to the other and back again, giving herself time to think.

Camille tied her signature white scarf around her neck and buttoned her coat. "While you guys think about how easy it is to catch the killer, I'm going to actually catch him."

Beckett had a sudden urge to hang Camille from the rafters by her Hermes.

"You, coming, Rick?" asked Camille, already moving to the elevator.

Castle looked at Beckett for permission.

She nodded and he took off after them.

* * *

While the boys were gone and she didn't have any paperwork to do, Kate went to visit Lanie in the morgue.

"Hey, Lanie," she said. She recoiled when she saw the body Lanie was in the middle of sewing up. The insides were completely hollow and the organs sat in clear plastic bags on a separate table. "Jesus God, what happened to him?"

"Girlfriend dug his insides out with a spoon," Lanie responded nonchalantly. She had seen far worse before.

Kate backed up to put scrubs on. "Speaking of significant others," she said, tying the apron, "What's up with you and Esposito?"

Lanie broke the thread with her teeth and set her needle down. "I don't know. I guess the thrill is gone."

"Why?" asked Kate. "How? You guys _just _started dating."

Lanie frowned as she folded her purple gloves and tossed them in the metal trashcan. "Exactly my point. If we're bored already, imagine what it will be like years down the road."

"So you're just done with him?"

Lanie shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know yet. I want him to make an effort first and I'll see how I feel then but I'm kind of on the fence about it. There's just too many doubts, y'know?" She leaned on the table next to her patient. "It's not like you and Castle. You're just _meant _to be together; there's no ifs or buts, despite what you thought in the past. Everyone just _knew_. With me and Javi… I just don't know."

Kate bit her lip. "Then you might not be right for each other," she said, speaking the truth. Kate wanted Esposito and Lanie to be together, but she also wanted what was best for Lanie. "Love isn't a 'maybe' thing. If you're in love with each other, you just _know_ it's right. You'll come across hiccups along the way that will give you doubts, but in the end, it'll work out."

Lanie sighed. "It _was _that way at first. It was amazing at first but it seems like Javi likes the thrill of the chase and after that… he just gets bored."

"I know what you mean," said Kate earnestly. She picked at the hem of the blue scrub, realizing that she had just given herself advice. "So what are you going to do?"

Lanie shook her head. "I want Javi to _try _to work through this. Then we'll see."

Kate nodded. "I really think you should talk to him."

"Me too."


	13. Chapter 13

Castle was relieved that Car Camille was back in action. He didn't think that he could handle Cold Camille at the moment.

Car Camille was jerking the steering wheel left and right as they wove through rush hour. She swerved right suddenly and Castle slammed his head against the doorframe. He rubbed his head.

"Sorry," Camille apologized. A biker cut her off as she turned back into the lane. She laid her horn on for a full minute. "Hey, asshole! It's called _share_ the road!"

The biker made an obscene gesture over his shoulder and Camille gave him one right back.

Castle glanced nervously at her. "What's the hurry?"

Camille grimaced when they got caught behind a line of taxis. "I don't wanna lose this guy. He's going to catch on that we know something soon." She tapped the wheel with her thumbs and turned the radio down that was playing an indie rock group. "So did you talk to Beckett?"

Castle's mouth twitched and he scratched his eyebrow. "About what?"

Camille smacked her lips. "Don't give me that bullshit, Rick. You know what."

He gave her a blank stare.

"The _age_ thing," she rolled her eyes. A one foot gap opened up in the next lane over and she wedged her way in. The driver behind them honked. Camille stuck her finger out the window.

He gripped the seat. "Yeah, we did."

"And?"

"She said I'm not too old to have another kid," he said plainly.

"She's right. You know you're too old when you start buying boner pills and 5 Hour Energy just to keep up with her." Another car started riding their bumper. Camille turned around and yelled obscenities that would make a sailor flinch.

Castle chuckled. "For such a sweet looking girl, you have quite the mouth."

"I thank my dad. He raised me by himself," said Camille. "Don't change the subject."

Castle turned to the window. "I don't know what else there is to say." He reached for the radio and blasted the music.

Camille shut it off. "You still think you're too old for Beckett."

He grimaced. "Do you think?" No matter what Kate said, an eight year difference was still a lot. That's like a twenty year old dating a twelve year old. He knew that that was different and highly frowned upon but it was still the same amount of years. He could have babysat Kate when he was a teenager and she was still a kid. He shuddered. What a creep he was.

Camille stared him up and down and he swore her gaze lingered for a millisecond longer on his crotch. "Mmm… no. You still look pretty good for your age."

He scoffed. "Thanks."

Camille smiled warmly. "I'm serious, Rick. You look really… _really _good. I mean, I would do you if you were single." He punched him playfully on the shoulder and flipped her hair.

Castle grinned. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me…" he tilted his head. "But it's also kinda gross cause you're young enough to be my daughter. But I appreciate it." He cranked the volume up and started air drumming.

Camille shook her head and focused on the road. "You're definitely young at heart."

After another five minutes of going nowhere, Camille reached under her seat and pulled out the gumball. She opened the door and stuck it to the roof. "Hang on," she said, swerving up onto the sidewalk and scattering a crowd of tourists.

Castle gripped the handle next to his window. "Why didn't you use that twenty minutes ago?" he pointed to the flashing gumball.

"I wanted to talk to you," Camille said with a wry grin. "I like our car talks. We can be real with each other in here."

"You know, if you weren't so awful the other 98% of the time, I just might like you," said Castle, holding on for dear life. He pulled his seatbelt tighter.

She narrowly missed a parking meter as she moved the cruiser back on the road. "I doubt it. I'm a hard girl to get along with."

Castle nodded. "Ah. Is that why you don't have a boyfriend?"

Camille's nose twitched. "No. I don't have a boyfriend because I don't want one."

"Why not? It's nice to have someone to lean on," said Castle.

"It's just not the right time right now," said Camille. "I'm focused on my career right now and I'm not going to let a guy hold me back."

Again, Castle was reminded of Beckett. "So if you meet the right boy, you're not going to take the leap because it's 'not the right time'?"

Camille muttered a curse under her breath when the light turned from yellow to red as they approached it. "I'm not going to meet the right boy. Have you seen the city? It's full of crazies, psychopaths, and losers."

"And also nice, intellectual young men that you can find at your local Barnes & Noble," Castle finished.

"Like I said, it's not the right time. I'm dealing with stuff," Camille said quietly.

Camille seemed to get more and more complex by the second. Castle already knew that she was raised by a single dad so where was her mom? Divorced? AWOL? Dead? He could relate to her; he being raised by a single mom. It got hard sometimes. He could only image what baggage she was carrying with. Maybe her past explains why she's so snippy and guarded.

They screeched to a stop in front of Justin Lake's apartment.

"Don't you want to shut that thing off?" asked Castle, pointing to the gumball that was still blaring.

Camille checked her gun. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Well, you seemed so concerned about him getting away; a siren would give him a warning that we're here and he could be out a rear window by now."

She pulled the light off and stuffed it back under her seat. "There. Happy?"

Esposito and Ryan joined them, strapping on their vests.

"All right," said Camille, tying back her hair. "I want this to be a clean nab. Any sign of trouble, you shoot. Got it?"

They nodded.

She reached into the trunk to switch her heels for sneakers. "Castle, I want you to stay here. I'm not going to let a civilian get in the way of my catch."

He laughed. "I'm not staying in the car." He put on his WRITER vest.

"If you get killed on my watch," said Camille, "Beckett will kill me."

"And Gates will thank you." He smiled. "Maybe you'll get a raise," said Castle, pushing past her.

The boys followed in suit.

Camille, not wanting to be left taking the tail, hurried to the front. She flashed her badge at the front desk and moved to the stairs. "Do we have a rear detail on him?" She asked Ryan as she bounded up step after step.

"We have a squad out back," Ryan responded.

Castle huffed and puffed, trying to keep up with the others. He wasn't exactly in the best shape. He made a mental note to get a gym membership. "Why did this guy have to live on the last floor?"

"You could have taken the elevator, bro," Esposito pointed out.

"There's an elevator?!" he gasped, hands on knees.

Camille held the door open on floor ten and they padded down the hall in a single file line. When they reached Lake's apartment, Ryan pounded on the door. "NYPD, we have a warrant!" Then he kicked the door in.

"Go, go, go," Camille barked.

Esposito and Ryan scurried into the room, guns raised.

"Clear," said Ryan, checking the front room and kitchen.

Espo checked the bedroom. "Clear."

Castle moved to examine the apartment. It was a run-down Lower West side deal. The paint on the walls was peeling off in large sections and the entire place smelled of mildew. He tapped Camille on the shoulder and pointed to the refrigerator that was left ajar. It was a newer model so Castle knew that if it had been opened a long time ago, the warning timer would have started beeping to tell the owner to close it.

Camille nodded. "He's still here."

Esposito stuck his head in the kitchen. "Yo, over here."

They followed him down a short hall and to a room they assumed to be a bathroom. Ryan was working on knocking it down with no such luck. "Something's blocking it," he said, taking a final hard kick.

Castle looked around and picked up a nearby CD tower. It was pretty heavy and made of metal and Plexiglas. "Move," he said.

Ryan stepped aside and Castle rammed the tower straight through the wood. The door splintered and flew everywhere; showering them in bits of debris.

Camille stuck her hand through the hole and unlocked the door.

Justin Lake was huddled in the bathtub; his hand over the muzzle of a tiny golden retriever that was shaking as much as he was. "The hell you doin'?" he shouted.

Esposito pulled Lake to his feet while Ryan took the puppy.

Camille stood by as Lake was cuffed. "We have a warrant for your arrest."

"C'mon, Camille, don't do this," Lake said.

Castle looked at Camille. "How does he know your name?"

She shook her head. "Justin Lake, you're under arrest for the murder of Benjamin Anderson and Lucy Moore."

Lake tried to pull away from Esposito and walked towards Camille. "Baby, this is a pretty shitty way of getting back at me. I would get it if you keyed my car, but _this_? This is an all-time low for you, Cam."

"Getting back at him?" asked Castle, turning Camille to face him. "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing," she growled.

Esposito and Ryan weren't sure what to do.

"Get him out of here," Camille instructed.

The boys glanced at each other, shrugged, and then led him downstairs.

Camille began to follow them but Castle grabbed her shoulder. "How do you know him?"

"I don't," Camille replied, her face pale. She began to walk away.

Castle grasped her wrist.

She turned and punched him in the nose.

He gasped and put his hand to his lip. A steady flow of blood came from his nostrils. "What is your problem?!"

She frowned. "Just let it go, okay?"

He pinched his nose and straightened up. "Okay."

She nodded and opened the medicine cabinet. She pulled out a Kleenex and handed it to him. "I'm sorry. It's just my natural instinct when a male grabs me."

He wiped his nose and followed her back to the car.

They didn't talk the entire way back to the precinct.

Esposito and Ryan made it back before they did and they already had Lake in holding.

Beckett hurried to Castle when he came in. "What happened?" She pulled the soaked tissue away from his face to check the damage.

"Camille punched me," he mumbled.

Beckett looked over her shoulder. Camille was disassembling the murder board.

She then reached into her desk and pulled out a tampon. She unwrapped it and threw the plastic part in the trash.

Castle began to protest. "What are you-"

Before he could finish, she shoved the cotton up his nose. "These are great for nosebleeds."

She was right, Castle noted. The stream of blood stopped instantaneously.

With perfect timing, Ryan and Esposito came into the pen. They snickered at the feminine product protruding from his nostril.

"Laugh all you want, but these things are awesome," Castle said proudly, pulling at the braided string.

Ryan held up a baggie with evidence they found at Lake's apartment. One of the bags held an opened package of pencils. "Ticonderoga No.2s, same model as the murder weapon. There are two missing." He pulled a Visa from his pocket. "Anderson's missing card," he explained. He dangled the jacket that Lake was previously wearing from his fingers. "We found Lucy Moore's blood on his sleeve."

"So that's it," Camille said, continuing to wipe down the board.

"Not quite," said Ryan. He looked at Castle. "Do you want to tell her?"

"I think Beckett should have the honors," said Castle.

Beckett grinned with pure happiness. She drew her handcuffs from her back pocket. "You're under arrest for tampering with evidence."

Camille's face drained of color. She looked over Beckett's shoulder at Castle who gave her an apologetic shrug.

Esposito and Ryan were standing like club bouncers at the door with their feet spread and arms crossed. They had a satisfied look on their faces.

Camille assumed the same position as the boys. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Castle, looking positively ridiculous with the tampon still hanging out of his nose, stepped behind Beckett. "You planted every single shred of evidence."

"I did not!" she said indignantly.

"Really?" Beckett said. "Ryan ran prints on the pencils and we found yours on there. You planted them."

Castle put his hand on Beckett's shoulder. "You know, for such a smart girl, you're pretty stupid…" he thought for a moment. "If that makes sense."

Camille shook her head. "C'mon Rick, you know me. Why would I do something like that?"

"No, Detective White, I don't think I know you at all. I think I know you from our car rides and then you take a complete 180° and you're another person," Castle said.

Camille scoffed and pushed her glasses further up her nose.

"So here's your story," said Beckett. "You were dating Justin Lake; he was cheating on you with Madison Moore and you found out. Madison was cheating on Justin with Ben and you figured that when he wound up dead, you'd get revenge on Justin by framing him for Ben's murder."

"No!" Camille said. "That's not how it-"

"It's exactly how it happened," said Castle. "You had inside information from working at for the NYPD. When Ben was killed, you transferred to the 12th because you knew that we would be assigned the case."

Beckett took another step towards Camille so she was inches away from her. Beckett towered over her in her heels. "We knew all along that Gregory Moore was the real killer. We've been playing you the entire time." Beckett was having far too much time making Camille squirm.

"You had the perfect play in place to make sure that Justin would be arrested for the murders but you started to feel guilty," said Castle. "You might have gotten away with it if you didn't send Justin a warning at his arrest just now."

"What?" asked Camille. She didn't bother denying it anymore; she had been caught.

"You kept the siren on outside of his apartment so he'd have time to escape," said Castle. "It was his warning to get out before we came in."

Beckett smirked and stood up straighter so she was even more above Camille. "And you might have gotten away with it if not for your one little slip."

"You know, you told me that you won't let a man get in the way of your career," said Castle. "I think you just did."

Camille stared into Beckett's eyes; willing her to blink. Her hands were on her hips and it was a final staredown between the detectives.

Beckett accepted the challenge, narrowing her eyes; making her uncomfortable.

After a minute, Camille looked away. "Okay, okay, I did it. All right?"

"Turn around," Beckett ordered. She slapped the cuffs on her, pinching her wrists in the process.

"Ouch," Camille winced.

"Sorry," Beckett said earnestly.

"No you're not," Camille grumbled.

"You're right," said Beckett. "I'm not." She pushed her towards the holding cells. "Let's go."

Score: Beckett-1,000,000 Camille-3

* * *

**[Author's Note: If you love Castle, boycott the 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards]**


	14. Chapter 14

Part 3

"That was a twist I did not see coming," said Esposito, leaning up against Beckett's desk.

She looked up from the paperwork she was filling out for the case.

Esposito picked up one of her white elephants. Beckett still didn't understand why he did this because he knew it pissed her off. "I'm glad she's gone though; no one can replace you," he said as she took the elephant from him.

She signed her initials at the bottom of the report and moved on to the next one. "Yeah, that's why you were all over her at the beginning."

He frowned. "That's before I found out she's a crazy bitch out to get everyone."

"I wouldn't say that," said Beckett. "I think she was a highly misunderstood character. There's more to that girl than you may think."

"Yeah," Esposito said sarcastically. "Or she's a crazy bitch."

Beckett clicked her pen and closed her folder. "Speaking of, I talked to Lanie."

He shifted. "And?"

"And I think you two need to try harder to make it work," said Beckett. "Do something nice for her for once."

"I do nice things for her," Esposito said defensively, crossing his arms.

"Name once," she countered.

Esposito opened his mouth.

"Not in bed."

He closed it again. "Alright, what do you think I should do that's "nice"?"

"Don't ask me," she said, pushing her hair away from her face. "It has to come from your heart or else it's not special."

He scratched his cheek, making a loud scraping sound from his stubble. "I could buy her flowers."

"There you go," said Beckett, going back to her paperwork. "What's her favorite kind?"

"Lilies," he said immediately. He was proud of himself for remembering. They had gone on a walk around the block one day and come across a patch of lilies and Lanie had mentioned that she loved them.

"Then go get her a huge bouquet," Beckett said, shooing him off.

"Thanks, Beckett," he yelled as he jogged to the elevator.

* * *

Castle took his chair; the tampon still shoved up his nose.

Kate tried not to laugh. "You know, you do have to change that."

He grimaced and tugged at the string. "I know. It's getting kind of gross. Do we have more?"

"I keep a box in your bathroom," she said, opening her drawer to put the file in. "You can help yourself."

Kate got up and went to the break room to get a plastic bag. She came back to her desk, swept everything into it, and dumped it on her old desk. She threw Detective White's name tag in the trash.

Castle picked up his chair and moved it back to its rightful place. "I was thinking," he said as he sat down. "Why isn't _all _of your stuff at my loft?"

"Because I have a lot of stuff," Kate replied as she carefully put her elephants at the head of her desk. "It wouldn't fit." She knew what he was really saying but she wanted him to say it first.

"Well," he pulled his jacket tail out from under his butt, "since we're having a kid, we should move in together. I mean, we're at each other's places almost all the time."

"I think that's a good idea," she replied.

"Of course, we couldn't keep staying at my loft with Mother there all the time-" he stopped. "Wait, did you just say that it's a good idea?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, it's only practical."

"Right," he nodded, "practical." He hadn't expected her to be so agreeing about the matter. She liked her apartment and he knew she had spent a long time filling it with new things after her old place exploded.

She stared at him. "Something's still bothering you."

"I'm old, Kate."

"Oh for heaven's sake, you're not old, Castle," she said, slightly tired of this topic.

"I am!" he insisted, taking the stapler from her bag and clacking it together. "I'm over forty, I have an adult daughter. Tell me; doesn't that scream 'old'?"

"Yes, it does," she admitted. "But you're not, okay?"

"I'm way too old for you," he said, leaning over her desk. "Don't you want someone your own age?"

She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. "No, I don't! I want _you_, Rick. I only want you. And I want you to stop worrying about it." She momentarily wondered if this was his way of backing out of their relationship; saying that she was too young for him. But there's a difference between saying 'You're too young for me' and 'I'm too old for you'.

"Besides, if you're old, I'm old too. I'm not exactly twenty anymore. We can be old together." Then, she looked at the cotton hanging from his nose and couldn't help but laugh. She reached out and lightly pulled on the string. "See? This is why I love you." She gave him her signature smile; none of her teeth showing, her lower lip retreating ever so slightly, and the corners of her mouth pulling up so her cheekbones make her eyes squinty.

He melted. She hardly ever called him "Rick" and said "I love you". When she did, it was special. He accepted her response along with a kiss.

"Ew," said Ryan, reaching her desk with Esposito at his side. "Mom and Dad are making out again."

"Gross," Espo agreed.

Beckett blushed and acted nonchalant while Castle checked the tampon to see how used it was getting. Camille had really hit him hard considering it was still bleeding severely.

"Speaking of Mom and Dad," said Ryan. "I want to take Jenny out to dinner and I need a babysitter."

"Sure," said Castle. "I'll ask Alexis if she's available-"

"Actually," Ryan interrupted. "I was hoping you and Beckett could watch Owen for us." He waited hopefully, rocking back and forth on his heels. This was his casual way of helping give Beckett and Castle baby practice. He sure could have used the practice before having Owen, but none of his friends had any kids at the time.

Castle looked at Kate, not knowing if she'd be comfortable with this. "Um…"

"Sure," Beckett said happily. "How long are we talking?"

"Uh…" Ryan scratched his ear. "Well, I wanted a whole night just me and Jenny, y'know…" He put his hands awkwardly in his pockets and glanced away.

"Yeah, boy," Esposito said, ruffling up Ryan's carefully gelled hair.

"Sure," said Beckett. She turned to Castle. "Is that okay with you?"

Castle was surprised that she was the one having to ask him if he was okay with it. "Of course."

"Good," Ryan said cheerfully. "Friday night?"

"Friday," Beckett confirmed. She looked at Esposito. "Aren't you supposed to be buying flowers?"

"Just did," Espo said. "I had them sent to her."

Castle gave him a fist bump. "Nice. Esplanie's getting back together, huh?"

"Let's hope so," said Espo. "I wonder when she's going to get the flowers…"

"Did you get express?" asked Ryan, who had plenty of experience with flower deliveries during Jenny's pregnancy.

Esposito nodded as his phone rang. He held the screen up for everyone to see. "Hey, baby. Did you get my gift?"

"Don't 'baby' me, Javier," Lanie scolded.

Espo flinched when she called him by his full name. "What's wrong?"

"Why the hell did you send me _lilies?_" she yelled.

Everyone could hear the shouting over the phone and they turned away, pretending to be otherwise occupied.

Beckett began rifling through her drawers while Castle, who didn't have anything else to do, started braiding her hair.

Ryan wiped down the murder board with his sleeve. After it was clear, he sprayed it and wiped it again.

The yelling went on for a while. Esposito frowned and nodded into the phone. "But you said you _loved _lilies!" He said when she briefly stopped shouting to take a breath.

"I said I loved _lilacs!_" Lanie said. "Do you know there's only _one_ thing in the world that I'm allergic to?"

Esposito sighed. "Lilies?"

"Lilies," she replied angrily.

The rest of the team, hearing this, grimaced. "Poor guy," Castle whispered, watching his friend being chewed out.

"But you know what else?" asked Lanie.

"What?" Esposito said, rubbing his temple.

"It was the sweetest thing you've ever done."

Esposito wrinkled his brow and gripped his phone. "Excuse me?"

"It was so sweet to think of me," said Lanie. "I was just _waiting_ for you to make a move. And you were _so _close; you _almost_ got the flower right. It's the thought that counts."

Esposito held his hand up-still slightly in shock-and Castle and Ryan each gave him high fives. "I'm glad you like it. So am I going to see you tonight?"

"We'll see," Lanie said vaguely.

Kate mentally congratulated her friend on playing hard to get.

"Okay, I'll see you later, baby," Esposito said, ending the call.

"Well played, man," said Ryan. "This is working out nicely; Castle and Beckett are having a baby, you and Lanie are getting together, Jenny and I have a date…" Ryan was always the optimist of the group. "It's like an episode of Friends."

"Except no one gets killed on Friends," Beckett pointed out; always the pessimist. She looked at Castle who was fiddling with the tampon. She unwrapped a new one –her last one- and gave it to him.

"Thanks," he said in a congested voice. He tilted his head back as he switched the old for new. He held the old one up to his face to examine it. "These are so cool." He offered it to Ryan to look at.

Ryan politely declined.

He turned it over in his fingers and pulled at the string. "I wish I was the smart person who invented these. It's like… the best invention ever. I could think of a million different uses for this."

Captain Gates chose that moment to come out of her office and check on them.

Castle looked up from his bloody tampon.

Gates crossed her arms and glowered down at him.

"Um," said Castle, trying to hide it. "I was just…" He looked like an immature jackass with one feminine product shoved up his nose and another in his hand.

Gates held her hand up and shook her head. "I don't want to know," she decided, walking away, her heels clicking against the tile floor.

"She hates me," Castle muttered, disposing of the cotton.

"It's okay," said Beckett, "she hated you before and she hates you now."


	15. Chapter 15

Castle was lying in bed with is head propped up on two pillows. His company included a two hundred paged manuscript, a pink highlighter, and a Bic pen.

He turned his head as the toilet flushed in the private bathroom. The faucet ran for a minute and he heard the whirring sound of Kate's Sonicare toothbrush.

She brushed her teeth a lot now; at least six times a day because of how much she puked. She had gotten into the habit of keeping a brush and paste at the 12th for emergencies. But no matter how much she brushed and flossed, Castle couldn't help but notice that her normally perfectly white teeth were yellowing from the effects of stomach acid.

It was one of many things about Kate that he was still getting used to; despite how small of a detail it was. It wasn't even that noticeable if you weren't looking. She didn't use her cherry-vanilla Suave anymore because she was too sensitive to the scent. She now smelled like Shea butter and almonds because it was the only smell that didn't make her sick. He didn't mind her new scent, but he missed the familiar smell of her shampoo when he hugged her.

He went back to editing; highlighting spots here and there and writing a note to his editor in the margins.

The faucet ran again and Kate emerged from the bathroom in one of his old T-shirts. She had taken her contacts out and now wore her thick-framed nerd glasses that Castle found incredibly sexy for some strange reason. She only used them right before bed if she wanted to read. She had been hesitant to wear them around him at first; afraid that he would make fun of her, but he really liked them on her.

She climbed under the covers and cuddled up next to him; her hair still damp from the shower and was returning to its natural curl. "Hey."

"Hi," he said, putting an arm around her so she could rest her head above his armpit.

Kate turned the manuscript towards her so she could read along with him. She took the pen from him and circled a grammatical error in the middle of the page. "That should be demonstrative."

He grinned. "It's so hot when you use big words."

She rolled her eyes and turned the page.

He tossed the papers to the side. "Are you excited to watch Owen tomorrow?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

He turned his body slightly so he could look her in the eye. "You seemed so eager to do it before."

"We're just doing a favor for the Ryans," she replied dryly. "They need some alone time."

"Right," he nodded. "Have you ever taken care of a baby before?"

She scratched her nose, making her glasses slide lower. "No. But how hard can it be?"

He laughed. "You have no idea."

She pinched him. "Shut up. I can handle it," she partly told him and partly told herself. "I took a Family Science class once."

"When?" he challenged.

She turned on her side. "Seventh grade," she said with her face pressed into the mattress so her response came out muffled.

He moved closer to her so his chest was pressed into her shoulder blades. "That must make you an expert." He smiled into her hair, breathing in the almond smell.

She brought her head up and craned her neck so their noses were touching. "I'll have you know, I was the only one who didn't make my robot baby cry. And besides, I'm not going in this cold; I have you… right?"

"Mhmm," he agreed, half listening. He then raised himself up on one arm and began circling her neck with his tongue. She tasted like her body wash and lotion.

She sighed as his lips met her pulse point and he felt her unwind. She yawned.

He stopped. "You're tired."

"No I'm not," she objected through a second yawn. "I can go all… night… long." She hooked her leg around his waist and pulled him closer. She fought to keep her eyes open. Kate didn't understand why she was always so exhausted. It wasn't like she was doing anything particularly trying at work; just paperwork and interrogations. Still, she was about to fall asleep at any moment.

Castle knew that he could use her tiredness to his advantage, but he wasn't like that. "You need sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

"I'm fine, Castle," she said, urging him to keep going. The faded T-shirt had gotten bunched up halfway to her stomach and she was wearing nothing under it.

It took all of his willpower to roll off of her and tuck the comforter up around them. "It's not me I'm worried about," he said to pacify her. "You'll wear me out; throw out my back or something and then you'll have to take care of Owen solo."

"I'd be fine," she assured him.

He reached out and carefully removed her glasses and laid them on the nightstand. "How about I read you something from the new Heat book?" He retrieved the manuscript that had fallen on the floor. "It makes a good bedtime story… or foreplay," he teased.

Kate buried deeper into the warm sheets. "A bedtime story sounds good." She turned and laid her head on his chest.

He flipped to chapter 7.

_Nikki sat gazing blankly into the blazing fire. She was sitting far too close to the pit and the heat radiating from the logs was making her sweat. She didn't move away, however, because she was drawn to the strange element by some invisible force. It fascinated her; the flames. They danced and jumped when the wind met it at the right moment and never assumed the same shape twice. Like snowflakes, no two were alike. At the base, it was a brilliant bright white that reminded her of the sun. As the flame progressed upwards, it changed color from white to yellow, orange, red, and some other color she couldn't quite describe in words. It wasn't quite yellow but wasn't white either. It was a strange space between the two colors that was almost blue._

_As she stirred the logs with the long poker, Nikki was almost tempted to reach out and touch the beautiful fire. She imagined herself stepping into the middle of the pit and letting the flames consume her so she was one with it. _

_It wasn't a suicidal thought. It was like the feeling you get when you're standing next to a high up ledge and you have the sudden urge to jump. You never do it, of course, but it crosses your mind. "What if I jumped?" you think as you peer over the edge to the ground below. "What if I took the chance; defy everything I know and just let the universe take control?"_

_You could never jump though, just like Nikki would never walk into the fire. Because once you jump, or once she would step into the flames; she would lose control. That one last moment before you jump is the last moment you have a choice; after that, it's up to fate-and gravity-what happens to you. Once you're in midair, you can't decide you don't want to fall anymore. The world doesn't work that way._

Castle stopped reading and looked at Kate.

She looked up at him and blinked. She was wide awake now.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Do you want to jump?" he said quietly.

She knew what he meant. He wanted to know if she was fully in the relationship or if she was still half out the door. "Yes."

"We'll do it together," he said, "but you have to trust me."

She took his hand. "I trust you." Kate knew the full power behind her words. She was giving herself fully and 100% to him and making a promise; a promise that she'll always be there like he's there for her. There was no 'maybe' anymore.

* * *

Kate paced anxiously in front of the couch. She had walked the same line a hundred times and had worn a path in the carpet.

Castle was lounging in the L of the vermillion couch and sipping bourbon on the rocks. "Would you relax?"

"I am relaxed," she griped.

He downed the rest of his drink and set it aside. They were waiting for the arrival of the Mr. and Mrs. Ryan with Owen and Kate's nervousness radiated off of her.

Castle stood behind Kate; forcing her to stop her incessant pacing. He gripped her shoulders and massaged her back with his thumbs. "You're going to be great, don't worry." He worked out a knot in her spine and her shoulders drooped.

Kate was trying hard to stop being so tense all the time. She wished she were more like Castle; taking life as it came and just going with the flow. He seemed to have a lot of fun having that outlook on life. She tried to think of a time before Castle came along when she had fun herself.

The doorbell rang and she jumped. _So much for not being tense._

Castle opened the door.

Ryan had large blue baby bag slung over his shoulder and Jenny was cradling Owen. They were both dressed to the nines for their big night out. "Hey guys," said Ryan.

They exchanged the usual hellos and Castle invited them inside.

Ryan handed Castle the bag. "We have to get going; our reservations are in twenty."

"Thanks so much for doing this, we really appreciate it," Jenny said to Kate.

Kate liked how Jenny and Ryan always said 'we' like they were a two in one package of sorts. "It's our pleasure."

Jenny wrung her hands. She was obviously nervous; it was the first time they trusted someone else with their pride and joy.

Kate felt awkward so she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

Castle set down the bag and relieved Jenny of the bundle. "He's in safe hands," he assured her. "You kids have fun."

When Ryan was almost out the door, he turned to them. "Okay, the spare diapers are in the left side zipper pocket," he pointed to the bag. "There's six bottles of formula, which should be more than enough. If he gets colicky, just rock him until he settles; don't bounce, that just makes him nauseous. There's an extra blanket in there too; he likes the blue one though, not the beige. So when you put him to bed, make sure he has the blue one or else he won't sleep. There's two pacifiers but if you use those, rinse them first and you have to watch him when he has them; he likes to throw them across the room."

Kate stared blankly at him. He had lost her around the word "colicky".

Castle merely nodded, soaking in every word like an old pro.

"If he needs a bath, he can't do cold or hot water; it has to be a happy in between or else he has a fit and you'll wind up soaked," Ryan continued. "I texted you both a picture of Jenny and me in case he misses us. If you have any problems, just call and we'll be right over."

What did he just say? "He'll be fine," Kate said.

Ryan nodded and gave Owen one last kiss. "Daddy loves you."

Kate grinned. The two's father-son bond was simply adorable.

Ryan hesitated before taking Jenny's hand and leaving with a wave.

Castle shut the door and slid the chain in place.

Owen was completely silent; staring with his huge green eyes at the two strangers.

He moved to sit on the couch. "You got so much bigger since we saw you last," Castle said. "Yes, you did, Owen."

Kate sat stiffly beside him.

"Do you remember us? I'm your Uncle Rick and this is Aunt Beckett," said Castle, holding Owen up to look at Kate. "We came to see you when you were just a day old."

Owen giggled and stuck his tiny hand out.

Kate reached her hand out and Owen grabbed her finger. "You look just like your daddy, Owen."

The baby smiled and gurgled.

Castle watched Kate play with Owen. She was a natural with him; soft spoken and sweet; her wide smile never faltering to make him laugh. "Do you want to hold him?"

Kate frowned. "Um… no that's okay."

"No, seriously, here," he started handing Owen over.

"No, Castle, I don't want- I mean, I don't know how," she protested. She pushed her hair behind her ear.

"It's easy, here," he urged her. "Just support his head like this." He adjusted her hands beneath the baby. "Like a football."

He transferred Owen to her and she held him awkwardly; slightly away from her body.

She grimaced.

He laughed at her. "Is that really how you hold a football?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Remind me not to choose you for my draft on Thanksgiving," he joked. He moved her arms so they were more relaxed and Owen rested against her stomach. "There."

Owen stuck his arm out and pulled at Kate's long hair. He quickly found out that if he pulled hard enough, it would bounce back into place in a fun curl that he could yank again and again.

"See, Castle?" she said, "This isn't so hard."

Owen coughed and spit up.

Kate panicked. "Oh my God, I've killed him, Castle take him!" she said quickly, handing him off to Rick like Owen was a hot potato.

He chuckled. "You didn't kill him, he just spit. Look, it's fine." He retrieved a rag from the baby duffle and wiped the drool. "You should've seen your face, Beckett. It was like the baby started breathing fire."

She rubbed her eyes. "Laugh all you want; I'm new at this."

Rick settled down on the floor in front of her and turned on the TV. "Rule number one: Kids love penguins." He turned on the DVR to a documentary on penguins.

Owen immediately started gurgling with joy.

Castle turned around to look at Kate who looked impressed. "See?"

Kate crossed her legs and slouched. She watched Rick play with Owen out of the corner of her eye.

Castle arranged pillows around him and let Owen move around a little. Owen went a few feet, turned around, and crawled up on Rick's lap. He took both of his hands and helped him stand.

Owen tottered precariously and fell back on his butt; his fall cushioned by the pillows. Castle helped him back up where he stood for longer this time before falling. The next time, Owen stood for a full thirty seconds.

Castle gave him a round of applause and Kate joined in.

After all that work, Owen curled up to watch the penguins again. The little boy marveled at the black and white birds on the screen. He screeched when the penguins belly-slid into the chilly Arctic ocean with a splash.

Castle was as transfixed on the television as Owen was.

Kate slid off the couch and sat next to them. She glanced at Castle who noticed her staring. She grinned. Kate liked seeing this side of Rick; the cute fatherly side. She loved the Rick that acted like the eight-year-old that played with remote controlled helicopters and also the mature, grown-up one that was great with kids.

She sniffed. "Do you smell that?"

"No," he responded. "But you have a better nose than me."

Owen started crying.

Rick lifted him up to his nose. "Yup. It's a drippy one."

Kate grimaced. "Gross, Castle."

"Is est quis is est," he said in Latin. It is what it is. He stood and offered her his hand, pulling her to her feet. "You take him…" he gave her Owen. "I'll meet you in the bathroom."

"Great," she mumbled. This was the part of parenting she knew she would hate. She cleared her makeup and perfume from the counter in Rick's bathroom and put an old towel down. She carefully placed the screaming Owen on his back.

Kate didn't know what to do to comfort him. A clean diaper might help.

Rick opened the door and poked his head in. "Hey," he said in a creepy gruff voice. "I got the stuff." He held up the bag.

She rolled her eyes and took it from him.

"Watch and learn, sweetheart," he said, laying out the new diaper, wipes, and powder

She bit her cheek and stood back. She had no snarky comeback for him.

"Rule numero dos: Never step away from the changing table once you begin," said Castle, indicating the pre-laid out spread.

Kate nodded. It seemed like common sense.

He looked up at her in the mirror. "Good job, by the way, putting the towel down." He grinned and opened the new diaper, sliding it under the old one. He narrated what he was doing for her benefit. "This is where it gets kinda complicated." He lifted Owen by the ankles and pulled the soiled diaper off. He wrapped it up and threw it across the room where it banked off the wall and into the trash.

Kate frowned; wanting a slow motion replay of what just occurred.

Castle used two wet wipes to clean Owen up. "I'm not going to make Aunt Beckett do this cause us boys gotta look out for each other," he said to the baby.

She rolled her eyes.

"Rule number three: always use alcohol free wipes," said Castle, showing her the box.

"Given."

"Do you want to take over now?" he asked, stepping aside.

She shook her head. "I think you've got it."

He took her hand and dragged her to the counter. "It's easy." He positioned her in front of him and guided her hands with his; wrapping the new diaper around Owen's legs and sticking the flaps in place. "You don't want it to be too tight or too loose," he said, letting go of her hands and letting her finish.

She patted the sticky flaps in place and replaced Owen's shirt.

"There," said Castle with satisfaction, "wasn't that fun?"

She gave him her look. "Well I wouldn't exactly say 'fun'…"

His eyes sparkled with the playful glint that she had so missed lately. It was just like old times.


	16. Chapter 16

Owen spent the early parts of the night exploring the loft and testing his boundaries.

He crawled about the living room; curious about everything he encountered. He seemed to be fascinated by the intricate weave of the shag carpet for he spent a while trying to pull the fibers out.

Seeing Owen play made Kate realize how un-baby safe the loft was. Everything was a hazard; the sharp corners of the modern furniture, the open fireplace, and various fragile knickknacks here and there all were an accident waiting to happen.

She and Castle sat on the couch; watching Owen move languidly about. All the time; she was ready to spring up from her seat and snatch away a sharp object Owen would somehow get his hands on.

Castle had his laptop open and was secretly taking snapshots of Kate chasing after the baby that he posted on his WriteRCastle Twitter page.

Tired of being on her guard, Kate scooped up Owen and brought him back to the couch with her. He fussed before finding entertainment by playing with her hair. Everyone-even babies- had a strange fascination with her hair.

She curled up next to Castle and rested her chin on his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

He clicked on the NYC Real Estate page. "I'm looking for a suitable place for us to live. There's a great place on Madison that I want you to see."

Kate let Owen squeeze her thumb after he got bored of her hair. "Aren't there places open in this building?"

He exhaled. "Yes. But I don't want to live _that_ close to Mother."

She laughed. She found Rick's relationship with Martha amusing; he acted like he was annoyed with her being around, but he secretly appreciated her presence. Martha's relationship with her son mirrored Rick's relationship with Alexis at some points.

"Check this out," Rick said, taking Owen from her and giving her the laptop.

Kate gasped. The website featured a gallery showing a beautiful loft with high ceilings and exposed brick lining one wall. There were hardwood floors and an iron spiral staircase in the middle of the living room leading to the second floor. The most spectacular thing about the place was the view from the huge window; overlooking the river and within spitting distance of a small corner park. As she scrolled through the other photos, she became more and more impressed by its features; a private lift, a terrace facing the Hudson, and best of all; a gigantic walk-in closet attached to the master suite.

Rick caught her staring in awe of the Carrie Bradshaw-esque closet space. "Do you think you could fit all of your shoes in there?"

"I don't know, maybe," she joked; knowing that she would have to buy out the entire boot section at Barney's to even come close to filling those shelves.

"What do you think?" asked Castle with a slight grin.

The closet was a deal-maker in itself. "I think it's perfect. Can we afford it?" She deliberately said "we" instead of "you" or "I".

"Well, with the new book coming out, I'm sure that Gina would be happy to give me an advance," he responded.

Kate could see herself moving in there with Rick and raising Jameson or Johanna or whatever they decided to name their baby. She could practically smell the meal they would prepare for Jim and Martha and Alexis on Thanksgiving in that gorgeous dining area off the kitchen. Castle could get the tallest Christmas tree he wanted with those high ceilings and he could go all-out decking its halls. They could take a walk to the park on warm autumn Sundays with their kids and maybe a dog or two. The thought filled her with excitement of things to come.

She looked down at Owen. He had stopped fidgeting and his eyes had become heavy. It was approaching 9:00 and he was beat from the exciting day he had had.

Rick noticed too. "Looks like it's time for bed." He took Owen from Kate and retrieved his powder-blue blanket from the duffle. The initials _OPR_ were sewn into the corner for Owen Patrick Ryan.

He tucked the blanket around Owen and immediately, his eyes fell shut. "This kid is so well behaved," Rick whispered, rocking him lightly. "Say goodnight to Aunt Beckett, Owen."

Owen held his hand out and Kate took it. She gave him an affectionate kiss on the head.

"Don't I get one?" Castle asked, tapping his cheek.

She rolled her eyes and pressed her lips against the stubble on his chin.

Satisfied, Castle turned on his heel and took Owen into the bedroom. That morning, he had unearthed Alexis's old crib from storage and set it up at the foot of his bed.

Kate followed him in case there was some rule about putting babies to bed that she didn't know about.

Before setting him down, Castle ran his hand over the taut sheet lining the bottom of the crib. "Never put a pillow in a crib," he told her. "It's a suffocation hazard."

She nodded and leaned on the wood rail.

Rick gingerly laid Owen in the crib like he was a pressure-sensitive bomb. "Never wake a sleeping baby," he whispered; barely audible.

Despite how silent they were, Owen's eyes snapped open as soon as his head touched the mattress.

"Crap," Rick and Kate said in unison.

Owen's face scrunched up and then let out an ear-splitting wail.

Kate picked him up and began rocking him. "What's his problem?"

Castle shrugged. "Ryan said that he could get colicky." He tried petting Owen's head.

Kate smacked his hand away. "He's not a cat; that's not going to work." She checked to see that Owen's diaper was still relatively clean. "What should we do?"

"Just rock him," Castle said, trying to remember what Ryan had said. "Or bounce him? Which one did Ryan say made him sick?"

She ran her hand through her hair. "I don't know, I thought you were listening!"

Castle dug around his pocket and came up with a quarter. "Let's flip for it. Heads is rock and tails is bounce."

Kate didn't like this idea but she didn't have any better plan.

He flicked the quarter up and it spun once, twice, three times before falling into his open palm. "Tails."

Kate sighed and started bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Owen stopped crying instantaneously.

They let out a collective sigh of relief.

Then, Owen hiccupped and threw up on Kate's shoulder.

Castle's hand flew to his mouth and he bit his knuckles; trying to keep from laughing.

Kate's face went pale and she didn't move; scared that it would get worse.

"I think we should have rocked him," Castle said.

"No shit, Rick," she said, gladly handing Owen over to him. The left side of her hair and the better part of her back was covered.

Castle pointed to his own shoulder. "You got a little-"

"I know!" she snapped, whipping her stained shirt off as if it had just spontaneously combusted. Kate took Owen back from him and carried him to the bathroom to get cleaned up. She huffed and put the stopper in the sink. "I'm not mad at you, Owen," she clarified, turning on the cold water. "Your Uncle Rick is being a jackass."

Castle sneaked up behind her and turned on the warm tap. "Well, good thing Uncle Jackass is here or else you'd be getting an ice bath." He gave Kate a taunting smile.

Owen waved his arms excitedly in the air. "Ja-ass!"

Rick and Kate fell silent.

"Ja-ass!" Owen repeated, pointing at Rick and giggling.

Kate covered her mouth in horror. "Did Ryan say that he started talking yet?"

"Nope," Castle said, breaking into a wide smile. "I can't wait to tell him!"

"That his son's first word was "jackass"?" she said incredulously, taking his phone from him. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" asked Castle, grabbing for the phone.

She held it behind her. "Because he'll know that we taught him that!"

"Ja-ass!" Owen said again; excited by his new vocabulary.

"No, no, no, sweetie. Don't say that!" Kate said nervously, holding Owen's hands so they'd stop waving.

Castle grimaced. "He could be saying… jazz."

Owen stuck his hand into the sink. "Ja-ass!" He splashed in the lukewarm water.

Kate groaned and sat down on the toilet seat; covering her face with her hands. "We fucked up Ryan's kid."

To make matter worse, Owen echoed her. "Fuh-uh."

She groaned again and laid her head against the back of the toilet; banging it softly against the porcelain.

"Good thing he can't make the C-K sound yet," Castle pointed out, turning off the water and taking Owen's pajamas off.

"Ryan is going to _kill _us," Kate said.

"Correction," said Castle, lowering the baby into the water. "He's going to kill _you_."

"Why me?!"

"You're the one who taught him "fuck". And you're the one notoriously known for having a dirty mouth," he said smugly, pumping liquid soap into his hand.

"I do not!" she said. _Do I?_ She realized that she swore the most out of everyone on her team but she could blame that on all the time she spent around men at Mets games when she was younger. "You're the one who taught him "jackass", you jackass!"

"Ja-ass!" Owen mimicked.

"That's right, Owen," said Rick, pinching his chubby cheek. "Jazz." He lathered Owen's few blonde curls with soap.

Kate sighed again and slowly peeled the rest of her clothes off; knowing that she had Castle's full attention.

Rick stared at her in the mirror as she climbed into the shower. "Tease!" he shouted over the running water.

"Jackass!" she shouted back.

"Fuh-uh!" Owen contributed.

The rest of the night went similarly; Rick putting Owen to bed, Owen screaming until he was picked up again. It was an endless cycle.

Finally, they both gave up on sleep and stayed up with Owen; watching the sun rise over the skyline. They were awoken from their daze by the sound of the doorbell.

"You get it," Kate muttered.

Castle moaned. "Why me?"

"Because I'm pregnant and I have a license to be lazy," she replied, sitting up straighter on the couch. Her neck cracked from lying awkwardly on it.

Castle stood and stretched.

The bell rang again.

"I'm coming!" he yelled, padding over to the door and trying to fix his bedhead.

Ryan looked bright-eyed and bushy tailed; a stark contrast to how Castle and Beckett looked. He frowned when he took in the sorry sight.

Kate was slumped over on the couch with Owen at her side. Castle's shirt was inside-out and he had a shadow of stubble on his jawline.

"What happened to you?" asked Ryan, stepping into the loft.

"Taking care of your son," Beckett mumbled into the couch cushion. "You can have him back now." She sat up and handed Owen over to Ryan.

Owen squealed with joy, seeing his daddy again. "Ja-ass!" Owen said, throwing his arms around Ryan's neck.

Ryan looked at Beckett. "What did he just say?"

She paused and glanced at Castle. "…Jazz?"

Ryan's face flushed with pride. "He said his first word! Oh my God, I can't believe it!" he whipped out his cell. "Jenny! Owen said his first word! Jazz!"

Kate and Castle sighed with relief as Ryan gushed about his son: the genius that could say music genres.

"Thanks so much for watching him, you guys," Ryan said. "It means a lot to us."

"Anytime," said Beckett, using all of her effort to stand up. "Okay, bye!" she said, shoving the baby bag into his arms and shoving Ryan out the door.

She walked back to the couch, took Rick's hand, and dragged him back to bed. Her knees gave in and she slumped onto the bed. Castle did the same. "I'm not ready for a baby," she muttered.

Castle rolled onto his back. "Good thing you have eight and half months to get ready."

**fin.**

* * *

**[Author's Note: thank you, faithful readers, for sticking it out for all 16 chapters! Positive has been my most successful story thus far and I appreciate all of your reviews. Special thanks to for steering me onto the right plot-path and TORONTOSUN who I can always count on for feedback! Look for the sequel coming as soon as I know what it will be about.]**


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